Only the Brokenhearted
By Sarah Kelly
11/2014




	It had been a week, and then two, but still he was not given a chance to see him, to further explain, to 
“communicate” and discuss. Kwai Chang Caine sighed, waiting.  The cold day was nothing compared to the coldness 
Peter now displayed towards him.  And he cursed his decision to allow the test to be done.  He knew Peter would 
check, it was his natural distrust and wanting confirmation to verify the existence in the way of life.  When the 
boy and his aunt had come after him for paternity, he had told them that it was impossible for him to be the boy’s 
father.  Sharing even a dark and painful secret that his child with the boy’s mother had been born dead still had not
convinced them.  He yielded and allowed the test to be performed.  And Peter had tested himself as well.  The test 
revealed he had fathered neither of them.  Peter not being his natural child was a secret no one knew, not Ping Hai,
 not Master Khan, not even his own father, only Laura and himself.  
	And there he was, Caine stood as he saw Peter leave the precinct.  Watching the other man, Peter acutely 
ignored his presence, knowing that Caine was watching him, wanting to have a word.  The younger man got into his blue 
Stealth and drove off.  Caine closed his eyes and turned, beginning his own journey home.  He could feel the eyes of the 
other detectives on him, they knew this ritual between them.  And they could see the pain it was casing the both of them 
as well.
	Slowly walking home, the setting sun cast a long shadow, a thin and lonely reflection that mirrored how he felt.  



	Peter Caine slid into the booth across from the blonde woman.  Jody Powell smiled and Peter gave a quick smile back.  
Meeting up at the local police hangout, half the precinct showed up to relax, have a few beers or a burger, or just get 
away from the office.
	“So Peter, any plans for the weekend?” Jody asked.
	Peter shook his head.  “Not too sure, Mom invited me over to the house to help with the yard.  She said that 
part of the tree in the back had fallen when the storm had hit last week.  You?”
	“No, I was trying to convince Mary Margaret to go with me to the movies, but she has other plans.”
	“Oh, what’s playing?”
	“It’s a chick flick.”
	Peter laughed and took a sip of a newly arrived beer.  “If you want, I can go with you.”
	“You are such the gentleman.  I may just take you up on it.”
	“Just let me know.”
	Silence once again reigned over the table, each lost in their own thoughts.  Peter sat facing the door, 
ever vigilant.  Since the night he found out the truth behind his paternity, he avoided any and all contact with his 
supposed “father.”  He needed time to think.  Caine had tried to talk to him, hell, he waited everyday for him to get 
off work. Truth is, he didn’t want to talk to him.
	Peter took another sip of his beer, its smooth crisp flavor calmed his mind.  “What time does the movie start tomorrow?”
	“Seven and nine forty-five.”
	“Ok, how about I meet you for the seven then we can go for a late dinner after?”
	The blond haired woman nodded, “sure Peter, that sounds great.” 
	Smiling, the two were joined by several others.



	The glass twinkled with ice as the wind brushed against it.  Caine looked out the French doors, out into the icy day.  
It had been a mixture of both rain and sleet, keeping him inside.  Pouring a new cup of tea, the afternoon had worn away with 
him not even realizing it.  Sitting back down, he opened the book he was translating.  Lo Si had given him a task, to translate 
an apothecary book from Chinese to English.  He had spent the past few weeks occupied on it.  Thankfully, it had also occupied 
his mind,somewhat.  It was almost three weeks since he had last spoken with his son.  He had decided long ago that no matter what, 
that was what Peter was to him, his son.  
	Looking at the Chinese characters, they seemed to flow into one.  Caine’s mind drifted again, both into the distant past 
and present.  Realizing he was losing focus, he shook his head, trying once more to copy the words.  A noise down the hall drew his 
attention away from the book.  Standing, Caine went to greet his visitor.
	“Master, you should not be out on a day such as this.”  Caine said to the wizened old man.  
	Lo Si smiled, his petite frame was shrouded by a gigantic coat and wool hat.  “Ah, why is that? Is not every day a good 
day to be out?”
	Hanging the older man’s coat up in the small hall closet, Caine sighed.  “It depends on the day.  Today is simply a very 
cold and icy day to be out.  You could catch a chill or fall.”  
	“That could happen on a sunny day as well.  They are both the same.  And besides, any day at my age is one I try to make 
the most of.”  Walking into the main room, Lo Si stared out the window before going over to inspect the translation.  Flipping the 
pages of both the Chinese book and the translated English notepad, he noticed that there was not much work done.  
	“I have not had any lunch yet, have you?” Lo Si asked.
	“I am not hungry.  Would you like me to make you something?  Mrs. Woo gave me some fresh noodles yesterday. I can 
warm them for you.”
	“Ah yes, that would be so kind.”
	Caine disappeared into the kitchen.  Lo Si sighed, he had hoped some reconciliation would have begun by now, but sadly none.  
Finding out about the paternity had surprised him.  He had felt a kindred spirit, a shared essence between the two, but not being 
blood related only happened in rare instances.  Sitting down, he waited for Caine to come back in.  Soon, the other man emerged from 
the kitchen with a bowl of warm noodles and a tea cup.  
	Lo Si graciously accepted the food.  Eating in silence, neither man disturbed the other’s thoughts.  
	After a few minutes, Lo Si finished the noodles.  Pushing the bowl away, he took a sip of tea.  Watching the other man, Caine 
seemed uncomfortable under the scrutiny.  Finally, Caine stood and picked up the finished bowl.  Taking it back into the kitchen, he 
quickly returned to his seat, where once again the two men sat in silence, sitting across from each other, yet miles apart in spirit.
The icy rain tapped out a gentle beat, reminding them of the passage of time.  Lo Si took another sip of his tea before deciding to speak.  
	“You need to give him space to think, Kwai Chang.”
	The other man looked up at him.
	“Peter is a man whom has faced many difficult challenges in his life.  With each of them, he has to ruminate on the reasons why 
and what the outcome of different reactions will be.  When he is ready to discuss these issues, he will come to you.”
	“Peter has yet to even want to speak with me.  He has never had a problem communicating with me before.”
	“Are you so sure in that? When you came back from being gone those six months, how long did it take him to open up to you again?”
	Caine pursed his lip and looked briefly away.
	“Peter may talk a lot, but he does not communicate.  And oftentimes, you do not communicate to him.”
	“Many of the times, I do not understand what he wants from me.”
	“Then you should have asked and had been prepared to answer what he wanted.”
	“What good does that do me now?”
	Lo Si could hear the despair in the other man’s response, the want, the need to right things.  There was no real answer 
to the question.  “There is nothing that you can do now, but wait.  Hopefully, Peter will come to you and the lines of communication 
can begin again.  But if not, then your journey together is over.”	 
	He watched the other man lower his head, it was the most honest response he could give.  When Caine had told him that 
Peter was not his biological child, he had been stunned.  When Caine had told him the story of why he had never told Peter the 
truth of his beginnings, he could understand Peter’s response.  But, even he had to admit, Caine had loved Peter as his own, 
there was no difference in his mind.  
	Standing, Lo Si walked around the table and placed his hands on Caine’s shoulders.  He could feel the tightness within 
them, knots of stress hardening the muscles.
	“My friend, you know that I care for both you and Peter as a son and grandson.  Patience and time are what is needed now.  
Please,let him figure this out on his own.”
	Caine softly answered, “Yes, but it will be hard for me.”
	“I know.”  Lo Si left his hands stay for a moment more before moving.  He had the feeling that the other man needed to feel 
human contact to help him not feel so lonely.  Slowly going over to get his coat, he waited to get any more responses from the 
other man.  Only hearing silence, he left.



	
	The heavy bag felt good as he hit into it.  One punch followed by another, he could feel his muscles tighten and loosen 
with every move.  His mind emptied and he focused on the raw power and energy as he laid into the bag.  After a few minutes, 
Peter wiped the sweat from his brow, taking a deep breath, he raised his arms again to begin another round.  
	“Hey partner, don’t kill the bag!”  
	Peter looked up and smiled.  “I’m just getting in a good workout, Jody.”
	The woman laughed “I’d still hate to be on the receiving end.  Mary Margret and I are going for a few drinks after 
working out, do you want to come?  There’s a new bar over on Elm that’s also a microbrewery.”
	“Sounds good.  Just give me a few more minutes.”
	“Okay then.”  Jody turned and went into the ladies locker room.  
	Mary Margaret smiled as Jody walked in.  “So is he coming?” 
	“Yup, he’s just finishing up.”
	“You know, it’s so strange how he’s been the past month.  He’s quieter, seems to be more thoughtful.  Do you think he’s 
going to blow or do something crazy?”
	“No, I don’t think so.  He just has a lot on his mind.”
	“Yeah, guess so.  Saw Caine yesterday.”
	“Oh, how’s he doing?”  Jody asked.
	The other woman winced.  “Not so good.  He’s heartbroken, almost doesn’t know what to do.”  Mary Margaret quickly changed  
before continuing.  “He held me closer and didn’t want me to leave, but not saying so, he just, you know how guys are, he just kept 
trying to be near me.  Do you think we should try and have them meet?”
	Jody shook her head, “no, it might be best to let things happen naturally.”
	“Maybe so, but I don’t think either one can continue without some sort of closure or reconciliation.”
	“I agree but, things were always weird between the two of them.  They need to figure it out.”
	Mary Margret sighed.  “Yeah, you’re right.”  Grabbing her bag, she followed Jody of out the locker room. “By the way 
Jody, what’s going on with you and Peter anyway?”
	Jody looked down smiling.  “We went on a date last weekend.”
	“No way, it’s about time!  So tell me, was he a proper gentleman?  Or are the rumors true?”
	Jody laughed, “Mary Margret!  He was a perfect gentleman.  In fact, we made plans for this weekend already.”  
	“You know you have to give me details!” 
	“It’s so strange, it’s almost as he had to get away from his father before finally asking me out.”
	“Really?” the brunette asked.
	Jody nodded, “it’s different, he’s different.  That’s all I can really say right now.”
	“Okay then.  Want to split something for dinner?”  Mary Margaret asked as the two left the gym.




	Peter navigated his blue Stealth into a familure parking space.  It had been almost two months since he was last 
in Chinatown.  It was his beat, yet he avoided it.  He had no choice today.  He was working on a case that involved a robbery 
that resulted in a homicide.  One of the robbers had been found dead with some of the loot, a rare antique collection.  Money 
and property had been stolen, he had to go and have the store owner verify the property, a rare set of old Chinese coins.  
He knew the store owner, had spoken to him many times, but he longer wanted anything to do with Chinatown.  
	Walking into the store, Peter quietly observed the boarded up window that had been broken.  Several other antiques, 
statues from the various Chinese empires, old ceramic vases, furniture, even paintings were worth more than the money that 
the thieves had taken.  The rare set of coins looks expensive, but were not as valuable as several other pieces.
	“Ah, ni hao, Peter Caine, welcome.”  
	Peter smiled as the shopkeeper greeted him.  He was older, hair trimmed in a squared cut, clean-shaven, and dressed 
nicely in a suit.  The man came over to him and slightly bowed.  
	Peter nodded and bowed slightly back as a sign of respect.  “Thank you, how are you Mr. Chen?”
	“I have been better. When you called with new information,it gave me great hope in recovering some of what has been taken.”
	“I just need you to look some of these photos for verification.”  Peter opened the folder he was carrying.  
	After almost an hour, Peter stepped out of the shop.  Putting his sunglasses on, he noticed several friendly faces 
walk by and smile at him.  News of his visit must have spread while he was inside.  Damn, he said silently to himself.  
	“Peter Caine, how good it is to see you” said a whiny, Asian female voice next to him.  
	Peter turned and smiled at the woman.  “Hello Mrs. Leoung, how are you and your family?”
	“I am well and my daughter is still single.  I had spoken to your father the other day about how I was worried in that 
she was having a hard time finding a good husband.  I asked him if you were still single and he was not sure.  You should have 
dinner with my Xiana sometime soon, she is an excellent cook.”
	Hiding a grimace, Peter did all he could to try and get away but still be polite.  But was he still single?  He was 
sorta seeing Jody and she seemed to be into him.  “I’m sorry Mrs. Leoung, but I am seeing somebody.”
	The elderly Chinese woman didn’t hide her disappointment.  “Well, if you ever change your mind or need a good woman, 
you can always come to see me.  I told Xiana that she needs to find a good man like you who honors his family and takes care 
of his father.  Most young men nowadays seemed to not want anything to do with their parents, but not you.”  The woman patted 
his arm before wandering away.
	Peter shook his head, they were good people, but nosey.  Smelling fresh fruit, Peter couldn’t help but walk over to the 
nearby fruit stall.
	The man behind the counter smiled.  “Ni hao Peter, how are you?”
	Not another who recognized him.  “Ni hao, I’m doing ok.  How are you?”
	The man just beamed.  “My wife just gave birth to our first baby boy.”
	“Congratulations.”
	“Thank you.  He will bring my family honor.  I want him to be a police officer, just like you.”
	Peter smiled and nodded, he was ready to go.  Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?  Turning, he gave a quick goodbye and
 headed to his car.  He shouldn’t have come, there was too much bitterness, too much anger.  He didn’t mind so much running into those 
whom he knew on the street, but there was one individual he didn’t want to run into.  
	“Peter.”
	And there it was, the voice he didn’t want to hear.  It was softer than he remembered and there was no command in it, but it 
still pained him.  Turning, he saw the man in the doorway of a local apothecary shop.  A small bag was in his hands, no doubt with some 
special herb needed for some poluce, but the man seemed surprised to see him.  Word must not’ve spread of his venture into Chinatown.
	Each man stared at the other, each trying to gauge the other.  
	“Peter, it is good seeing you.  Are you well?”
	Peter turned away, keeping his face stony.  “I need to go and get back to the precinct.”
	“Please, wait, we need to talk.  There is no good in avoidance.”
	The younger man turned back to face the other man.  “Listen, I’m not avoiding you, I’m done with your stupid Shaolin crap, 
done with your mysticism, done with your lies, done with being a Caine.” As he said each, he stepped closer to the priest.  “I’m done 
with you.  Just leave me the hell alone.”
	Peter quickly turned and ran over to his car.
	“Peter please, my son, do not do this.  Do not run away from me.”
	He paused, there was one thing he needed to know before the ties were completely severed. He faced the other man, a new 
resolve within.  “What’s his name?”
	For a moment, Caine looked confused, then his face went impassive.  
	“What’s his name?” He said more sternly.
	“You do not want to be his son.” 	
	“I’m not your son.”  Getting in his car, he slammed the door and drove off.



	As soon as he heard those words utter from the one he loved for so long, his heart broke and became alit together. Caine felt 
anger rise.  He had given Peter almost everything he could, his love, a home, an education, he had made sure that he wanted for 
nothing.  Caine swiftly walked home, avoiding those whom he knew.  He needed to be alone with his anger, he needed time to think.  
	Once getting there, he threw the contents of the apothecary shop onto his workbench then went into the meditation room.  
Of all the years they were together, and all the years apart, Caine never could imagine them not being able to overcome any obstacle 
that had come in their paths.  Together or apart, each had the other in their hearts, each had shared a part of the same spirit.  
He could even feel the life within his son, the bond had not been broken, but it was fainter.  Pacing about the room, he didn’t know 
what to do.  Finally, going over to the window, he watched the setting sun.  The sky was a very pale yellow and blue with little color 
variation, night would fall fast and cold.  As the dark cloaked the room, he felt a tear fall, and then another.  Soon, he was weeping, 
his heart mired in longing and regret.


	Peter’s hand hit the bag harder, anger propelling the fists, reacting from the ferocity within.  He shouldn’t have gone, 
but the worst part was admitting that the other man had been correct, there did need to be some sort of closure.  He had asked a 
question that had been haunting him, he wanted to know whom truly fathered him.  He wanted to know why he was never told all those years.  
He wanted to never have known the truth.
	After the brief confrontation earlier, he hadn’t felt much like going back to work.  He finished and left early, heading to 
the gym, as he had more often of late.  They had a heavy bag that allowed him to release his anger in a way that both cleared his mind 
yet allowed him to think.  That and running, he had also been putting more mileage on his sneakers than usual.  As to his kung fu training, 
he had stopped that, doing more boxing styles instead.  And now, he was back at the gym, dressed in his loose sweat pants and black 
sleeve-less tee, gloves on, sweating away the enraging thoughts.
	Pausing to take a breath, he waited for his heart rate to steady before beginning the next round.  He started with a roundhouse 
kick followed by several more.  
	It wasn’t until he was almost spent that he noticed he had an observer.  Jody walked over to him.  Still in her work clothes, 
her blonde hair was pulled back by several gold barrettes.  
	“Hey,” he said, in between breaths.  He smiled after he said it, hoping that being covered in sweat didn’t turn her away.
	“Hey Peter, are you okay?”  Her eyes held only concern for him.  
	Hands on his hips, he shook his head and looked down.  Not really, his mind said, while his mouth said something else.  “Yeah, 
getting in a good workout.  I might try out for the city’s police boxing tournament next month.  Its gonna take some work to get to boxer form.”
	She smiled, seeing right through the half lie.  “Peter, I have to know something, how much longer do I have to wait for you?”
 	He gave her a questioning look.  He knew how she had felt, but how did he really feel?  Seeing her, eyes open and vulnerable, he 
questioned his own motives, then shut all thoughts down.  Moving swiftly, he grabbed her and kissed he deeply and passionately.
	She gave a surprised gasped before returning the kiss.  As swiftly as it had begun, it ended.   He was mindful of those around
 them in the gym, but at the same time, didn’t care.  She seemed shocked, yet had a sly smile on her face.
	“How about I go and shower up and we can talk about it later this evening?”
	Jody nodded, and walked him over to the men’s locker room, waiting for him to get ready, smile still on her face.



	The date had gone extremely well, each had known each other for so long, there were no real surprises, yet, somehow, each 
had found something amazing in the other.  As the night progressed, they had found themselves at Peter’s apartment watching a movie.  
	Jody was snuggled against Peter.  Soon the movie was over and the silence was comforting, each just enjoying the other’s 
company. Glancing around the apartment, Jody noticed the train set.  It was time-consuming in its detail, requiring focus in each 
placement of the trees, buildings, and other pieces.  Her eyes roamed over to the bookshelves.  It had an array of novels, everything 
from police procedures to Buddhist thought, and even a few detective stories.  A plate-size sculpture caught her eye.  It was circular 
and exquisitely painted with Chinese characters, cranes, and other designs.
	Peter noticed her observing it and frowned.  Getting up, he walked over to his book shelf and grabbed the piece, bringing 
it over for her inspection.  Smiling sadly, he handed it to her.  “My father gave me that, saying how proud he was of me.  It's 
a blessing for happiness and peace.”  
	Jody looked at the ceramic, it was even more beautiful and delicate close up. She tried to hand it back to him, but he refused.
	Peter shook his head.  “I don’t want it.  You can have it, it doesn’t mean anything thing to me anymore.”
	The blonde woman nodded, setting it on the small coffee table, she would put it back later.  She watched as Peter walked 
over to the book shelf, studying its contents, no expression on his usually expressive countenance.  
	After a few moments he sighed, and smiled at her.  “So now what do you want to do?”
	Jody smiled softly back, “I could use some more wine.”
	“More wine, no problem.”  He disappeared into the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a newly opened bottle.  
Pouring them both some wine he sat down next to her on the couch again, putting his arm around her, but still seeming lost in thought.
	She nudged him lightly, “so, whatcha thinking?”
	He smiled, “that I’m glad I finally got to know you better.”
	She smiled back.  “I’m glad you did too.”
	He nodded.  “Wonder what it was that kept us apart?  I mean, we saw each other practically everyday, yet I never thought you 
could match me so well.  Or accept my checkered past.”
	“I don’t know.  You always seemed to be doing things with your father, I just never wanted to get in between you two.”
	“He’s not my father.”  Peter said darkly.
	“I know, but still,” Jody hesitated and turned away from him, sipping the wine as she didn’t want to continue.   
	“But still what?”
	She shrugged, still not looking at him.  “Its nothing, that’s all.”
	Peter sat up and put his hands on her shoulders.  “Jody, what is it?  Did he do something to hurt you?”
	“No, its just that he told me I wasn’t right for you and that I should move on to find another.”
	“What! When did he say that?  And why didn’t you tell me?”
	She looked down at the wine glass, twirling it absently.  “Back when he was in his supposed bardo, or something like that.  
He came to the station and said that he knew I loved you, but that it wasn’t right.  He said that you would never love me.”
	Pursing his lips, Peter shook his head.  “Damn that man.’
	Jody sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.  Peter reached up and lifted her head, leaning in, he ever so gently kissed 
her lips. Soon, the kiss deepened.   



	Pouring the fresh coffee into his mug, Peter inhaled the sweet aroma.  The hot coffee mixed with the bright sunlight 
that was filtering in through the patio doors, gave the morning a sense that a new day had begun.
	Hearing a soft tap at the door, Peter set his cup down and went over to see whom it was.  Glancing at the clock, it was just 
after seven-thirty, early for almost everyone he could think of, except for one.  Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he slowly 
opened the door.  The two men stared at the other for a moment, Peter could feel his emotions rise, but took a deep breath to center himself. 
	“Peter, we need to talk.  May I please come in?”  Caine asked, patiently waiting outside the door.
	He looks sad, Peter thought, studying the other man.  Nodding, he opened the door further to let the other man pass.  
	Caine smiled softly at Peter.  “It is good to see you.  Are you well?”  
	“Yeah, I’m fine.  What do you want?”
	The smile quickly disappeared.  “I want your forgiveness, I never meant to hurt or deceive you.”
	Peter snorted, “well, it’s alittle late now, don’t you think?”
	“It is never too late for us to discuss what is troubling in our hearts.”
	The younger man rolled his eyes, it was way too early for this cryptic crap.  “Whatever, I’m done.  I am so tired of you 
making me face things that I don’t even want to think about.  The fact that you hid from me for so long that I wasn’t your biological 
child was what tipped the scales.”
	“I understand why that is upsetting but I do not understand why we can not try to repair the relationship.  That you were not 
from my blood never hindered me from loving you to the fullest.  It is not much different from when the Blaisdell’s adopted you.  
They accepted you as their own son, their own child.  I accepted you when you were in your mother’s womb.”
	“The difference is that they never deceived me.  They knew I wasn’t their blood, yet they showed me more respect, more 
support in the choices that I have made.”
	“But Peter, I am proud of what you do with your life.  You protect those whom cannot protect themselves.”  
	“You say that, but you really don‘t mean it.” Peter said harshly.  “We both know that you want me to have followed in your 
footsteps, not Paul’s.”
	“Peter, I love you no matter what you do.  Would I have been pleased if you had taken the brands, yes, but perhaps, 
it is not your destiny.”
	Peter raised his hand to the sky.  “Destiny! To hell with it, I want to live a life where no one ever tells me I have a 
destiny to fulfill!  I just want to have a normal life.”
	“You lead a very honorable life, a life that is anything but ordinary.  Your journey has many obstacles and miraculous 
moments ever since your very beginning.”
	“I don’t care, I want to know where I came from.  Why won’t you tell me his name?” 
	Caine’s face darkened, “he is a man of anger and violence.  He did not deserve your mother, and he did not deserve you.”
	“Who are you to decide that?”
	Caine’s face hardened, revealing nothing.  Peter stared him back, face equally hard.  After a moment, Peter abruptly 
turned and went over to the bookshelf.  Reaching up, he grabbed two worn journals.  Turning back, he held them out to the other man.
	“Take them, I don’t want them.”
	Caine stared at the books, his father’s and grandfather’s journals.
	The younger man shook them in his face.  “Take the goddamned books!” 
	Caine hesitantly accepted them.  
	“Um, is everything alright?”  A soft female voice interrupted the feud between the two men.  Both turned their 
heads to see Jody coming out of the bedroom.  
	“Its alright Jody, he’s leaving.”
	“Peter, we are not done.  There is too much between us to just throw everything away.”  Caine said, a slight hint of 
anger beginning to edge his words.
	“You’re right, when did you tell Jody she wasn’t good enough for me?”  Peter demanded, stepping closer to the other man.
	Caine looked confused, “I never said that she was not good enough for you.”
	Peter stepped closer. “Yeah you did, she told me that you told her that I would never love her and that she should find another.  
It was during your Bardo moment.”  He said that last part sarcastically, anger beginning to show more in his posture and words.
	Caine’s eyes narrowed, remembrance dawning, “Peter, for the affection she may show you, she is not your soul mate.  I know you 
do not like to hear it, but your path is elsewhere.”
	“What right do you have to decide on whom I love?”
	“Jody is a good woman whom loves you, if she is your choice, then so be it.  But you are not the type to stay still.  
Like the wild mustang that lives free, constantly running, so you must be.  And that can be very hard on those whom love you.”
	Peter shook his head, glancing over at Jody, he thought for a moment before responding.  “You are so wrong about me.  
You remember me as a child, and now, you have no idea of the man I have become.  I’m glad I become more like Paul.  I would never 
steal away a pregnant man’s wife and justify it by saying he beat her.”
	A look of shock crossed Caine’s face.  He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it, unsure of how to respond.  
Tentatively, he answered darkly, “if you knew the hell your mother went through, you would never have said such a thing.”
	“Why should I believe you?  You won’t even give me my father’s name.”
	“You do not want to know him.  Remembering past demons only gives them greater power.”
	“I’m the one who should decide that.  Don’t you think he deserves the right to know that he has a son?”
	“No, he lost that right when he put his hands on your mother.”
	“Well, maybe she deserved it, seeing that she was screwing around with you.”
	Caine slapped Peter across the mouth, hard.  “Never talk like that about your mother again.  She loved you beyond 
measure and wanted you to grow up in a home of love, not fear and anger.”
	Feeling the sting of the slap, Peter took a deep breath, then exhaled.  “Don’t you ever touch me again. Get out, now.”
	The other man didn’t move.  
	“You need to walk out that door and never look back.  We’re done.  I never want anything to do with you ever again.”	
 	Caine took a shallow breath and softened.  “Peter, it can not end like this.  Please, we need to talk these things through.  
Anger fades as we resolve these differences.”
	“No,” Peter looked calmly at Caine.  “I’ve grown into a man you don’t recognize.  I’ve grown past you and decided 
my life is better without you.  Now you can either leave on your own or I can call the police to remove you.”	
	The two men stared directly into each other’s eyes.  Caine was the one who yielded.  Nodding sadly, the older man 
reached up and cupped Peter’s cheek.  Turning, he moved toward the door, shoulders down.
	Pausing, he quietly said.  “I wish you the best.  May you find the happiness and peace that you seek.”  With that he left, 
shutting the door softly behind him.
	Peter felt something inside break as he watched the other man leave.  Feeling rage build up inside him, he grabbed 
the Chinese plate and threw it at the door.  It broke into several pieces.  Grabbing all his books on Zen and Buddhism, he went 
into the kitchen and threw them all into the trash.  He then went about his apartment, grabbing and throwing away anything Chinese, 
anything that reminded him of Caine.
	Finished, he sat on the couch and stared at the coffee table. Jody came and sat next to him, enveloping him into a tight embrace.     
	  

	
	“Kid, are you seriously going to do this?”  The older detective asked.  Kermit could hardly believe what he was being asked to do.
	The younger man nodded.  “I want my life back.  If I don’t do this, then he’ll never take me serious in that I want him out of 
my life. If you give it to him, he’ll understand.”
	“Yeah but Peter, a restraining order won’t mean anything to him.  If you want, I can talk to him, but don’t you think 
this is a bit extreme?”
	Peter shook his head.  “The other day, he came to my apartment and he slapped me.  This may not mean anything until 
the first time he breaks it.  That’s why I want you to give it to him, he’ll understand the seriousness of it.”	
	Kermit’s face remained emotionless.  “How about you think about this for a week or so, and if you still 
want me to deliver it, I will.”
	“No, I’m done dealing with him.”
	The older detective stared the younger man down for a moment.  It didn’t feel right and he felt dirty even being asked 
to do it, but he did understand that he was a good candidate to deliver the restraining order.  It showed some respect.
	“Alright, I’ll take it, but you owe me one.”
	Peter nodded and handed him the papers.  “Thank you Kermit, I’ll make you the best man at the wedding.”
	Kermit snorted, “no thanks, not much on things like that.”
	“Mind if I come?”
	Both men turned to see Mary Margaret join them.  The dark haired detective had been nearby when she had overheard the 
conversation. Hearing rumors of Peter getting the restraining order had reached her ears, but she didn’t believe them until now.
	“Are you sure you want to do this?” Kermit asked her.
	She nodded, “yeah, he deserves better than this, Peter.  You really should be ashamed of yourself.”
	The younger man just frowned, looking away from her.  “Well, it’s my life and I want him out of it.”
	“You think that now, but you don’t realize all he’s done for you.  He’s your father, whether you like it or not.”
	“I’m not getting into this with you Skalaney.  You can go if you want, I don’t really care.  Now I need to take care of a 
few things. Thanks once again Kermit.”  Peter turned and sharply left, body tense.
	Mary Margaret shook her head.  “I don’t understand him anymore.  After the fifteen years and rebuilding the lost relationship, 
he’s just throwing it all away.”
	Kermit frowned, “we’re not in his shoes.  How would you react to news that your biological father is a different 
person than the one who raised you.”
	“Not like this.  I’d want to know why and who he is but, if I was raised with love, then would it really matter as much?”
	“It does to him.”
	Kermit walked out of the precinct in silence, thinking about how he was going to explain the restraining order.  He really 
didn’t want to go, but the elder Caine would understand the seriousness of it with him explaining it.  Letting Mary Margaret in the
 car, she sat in silence for most of the trip.  It wasn’t until they arrived at Caine’s brownstone that she finally spoke.  
	“Explaining this restraining order is one thing, but Kermit, how are we going to tell Caine that Peter and Jody are going 
to be married in two months?”
	Kermit had been thinking on that too.
	“We don’t, someone else can tell him closer to the date.”
	The woman frowned, “I don’t feel right not telling him something so important.”
	“Lets just start with this.  Maybe Peter will change his mind and lift the order by then.”
	“Lets hope for the both of them.”  With that, they both got out of the car.
   


	The day began blue and bright, and cold and empty.  The sun did not warm or brighten, it simply fulfilled its 
preordained mission to cross the sky, providing light.  It certainly hadn’t warmed or brightened him.  A slight breeze 
caught his grey hair, but he hardly noticed.  Caine stood outside on his balcony letting the cold numb him, matching the 
way he felt on the inside.  It was the first day of spring, a day to celebrate new life and another winter passed.  And it 
was his son’s wedding day.  
	He didn’t know what hurt more, not being there to celebrate this milestone in Peter’s life or his son simply not being in 
his life.  The restraining order had been effective, both Kermit and Mary Margaret had explained it to him.  He respected them both 
and done as the papers ordain.  That was two months ago, two long months ago in winter, and there were ten more months to go.
	Mary Margaret would stop by every now and then, it was how he found out about the wedding.  She was hesitant in telling 
him, but he was grateful he was told by someone he knew and not just a stranger.  It still hurt.  
	Coming back into the main room, he picked up a small box sitting on the apothecary table.  It was a small present, 
nicely wrapped in red paper with a black ribbon.  He had meditated and questioned on if he should or not, but the desire to give 
it out-weighed the consequences.  He had debated on it he should give it to another to give, but that didn’t feel right.  This was a 
gift from the heart, and from a promise to another long ago.
	He was dressed nice enough in his black and white silk shirt and pants.  He didn’t expect to be let in, but if he could 
just give the gift, he would leave as quiet as he came.  He hoped for nothing but a simple offering.  Picking up his coat and hat, 
he left with just the small package and a humble hope.


	The hustle and bustle of the ceremony didn’t seem to phase him.  He and Jody weren’t very religious so they decided on a 
justice of the peace ceremony with their closest friends and family to celebrate.  Annie was happy, but you could tell she missed 
Paul.  She had tried to get him to reconcile with his father before the wedding, but he hadn’t budged.  It was that morning Caine 
came to see him that he realized just how important Jody was to him.  And he clung to her like a drowning man in roiling sea.  
She was all he had now, all he needed.  
	Looking at himself in the mirror, he opted for a nice black suit and tie, no tux for him.  Jody didn’t want any fanfare either.  
Both had decided on a simple ceremony on the first day of spring.  
	Fixing his tie in the mirror, he couldn’t help but feel a sadness within.  He should have his father with him, to give him 
advice and wisdom on marriage.  But Paul was still off fighting his demons.  As to Caine, he didn’t want to think of him, it hurt 
him deeply, and he discovered not thinking about it was best.  He was happy, or at least he thought he should feel that way.  He had 
Jody now, his soon to be wife, then he’ll have kids, and life will be better, or at least that’s the plan.  Sighing, he nervously 
readjusted his hair.  He didn’t know why he felt so on edge, but inside he did know why he felt that way, and it was an emotion he 
didn’t want to face. 
	The past two months had flown by.  He focused all his energy on Jody and his job, he even took the lieutenant’s exam.  
It would be a few more weeks before the results came in, but it could bring a change that he wanted.  
	Seeing that there was nothing more to improve, Peter decided to go to the hotel’s bar and wait for everyone else to arrive. He and 
Jody decided to have the ceremony and reception at the local Marriot.  It was going to be a small party, close friends and family only. 
It offered everything they needed, food, a large room, and a great view of the city.  Coming down into the bar, he noticed half the guests 
there already.  Nodding a greeting to a few from the precinct, he headed over to Kermit, who greeted him with a raised glass.
	“Well Peter, you still have an hour of freedom left.  I‘d make the best of it if I were you.”  The older detective teased.
	“Oh, don’t listen to him Peter,” Blake responded, “he’s just happy you have an open bar.”
	Peter nodded, “yeah, glad you two are enjoying this.  Have either of you seen Jody or Annie?”
	Both men shook their heads no.  “I spoke to Annie an hour ago, Strenlich had just picked them up from her house.  Want me to 
give them another call?”  Blake asked.	
	“No, that’s ok.  I’m sure they’ll be here any minute.”  Peter glanced nervously at the door, almost as if sensing someone 
was looking for him.
	Kermit and Blake looked at each other frowning, almost as if knowing what the other was thinking.
	“Its alright Peter,” Kermit said, “we are keeping a lookout in case he does show up.”
	“I just don’t want this day to be ruined.”  
	Kermit took a sip of his drink, hiding a grimace.  “It won’t be, but you should’ve talked to him about this.”  Peter opened 
his mouth to protest, but Kermit raised his hand to silence him.  “I know you say you’re done with him and whatever.  But the man 
did raise you and still loves you, no matter what you say or do.  You owed him at least a courtesy call on this.”
	Peter pursed his lips together, “yeah, well, these past two months have been my happiest in years.”
	“Did you ever stop to consider that you simply replaced the love for your father with Jody?”
	“Kermit, I’m not doing this right now with you.  You are the last person to be examining the rights and wrongs in my life.  
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make sure Mom and Jody are alright.”  With that Peter turned and huffed away.
	Kermit looked at Blake, who watched the younger man walk away with sadness.
	“You know, it’s such a shame how he’s made it such a cut and dry issue.  He’s one of the luckiest guys I know, but keeps 
screwing things up with those he loves.”
	Kermit snorted, “he’s lucky enough to have two fathers that love him, a mom that adores him, and us to deal with him.  
One day he’ll realize that he’s not alone in this.”
	“He’s always been that way, you know, where he feels he’s the only one that can handle things.  It’s the ‘hot shot cop’ in him.  
Let’s just hope that Jody isn‘t simply getting caught up in it.”
	Kermit nodded in agreement. Noticing a server going around asking people questions, one of the people the man asked pointed at him.  
	The man, dressed in the hotel’s black and white formal uniform, came over to him.  “Excuse me sir, are you Kermit Griffin?”  
	“Who wants to know?”  He asked, menacingly.
	“Well, there’s a man in the hotel lobby asking for you.”
	He knew without a doubt who was asking for him.  Giving Blake a warning glance, he slid off the barstool and headed out to 
the lobby.  The hotel itself was decorated in a very modern style.  Warm tones accented themselves next to black marble, giving the 
hotel a European detail.  The hotel lobby was grander than the rest of the building, using the same color palette, but having a crystal 
chandelier sparkle out as a central focus.
	It was there that he saw him, studying a picture of abstract art. 
	“Caine you’re not supposed to be here.”  
	“I know Kermit.  I have a small gift that I’d like for him to have.”  Caine held out a small red, package.
	Kermit looked through is green-tinged glasses at the present.  Sighing, he removed his glasses and looked Caine in the eyes.  
“I can give it to him, but you can’t be here.  If Peter finds out you’re here, I’m going to have to arrest you.”  
	“I just wanted to wish my son well on his wedding day.”
	“I know.”  Kermit could see the sadness in the man’s eyes.  Caine looked older, more worn.  
	Caine looked away and back again, shaking his head he responded.  “I still do not understand why he has to be so harsh, 
if he only knew how much he means to me.  Before his mother passed, she made me promise to give this to him on his wedding day.  
Please make sure to give it to him”
	Kermit nodded while accepting the gift.  “I’ll make sure he gets it. You take care.”
	“May you find peace.  Please, watch over him for me.”
	“Always.”
	Kermit watched the older man leave.  Slipping the package in his pocket, he would give it to Peter later.  Turning to 
return to the party, he was almost to the hallway when he heard Peter yell out.
	“What the hell are you doing here?”
	Kermit turned and hurried back into the lobby.  He saw Caine just outside the doors and Peter yelling at him.  Caine had 
his hands up and was backing away while Peter seemed poised to attack.
	“Calm down,” he yelled, running outside.  Going over to Peter, he put himself between the two men.  “He’s just leaving, 
Peter. Go back inside.”
	“No,” the younger man demanded.  “He just broke the restraining order.   You need to arrest him.”
	“Peter he stopped by to speak to me.  He’s leaving and not bothering you.  Please, just this once, let him go.”
	“Yeah, like I believe he came here just to speak to you.  Arrest him.”
	“Please Peter,” Caine interjected, “I am leaving.  I wish you no harm, only happiness.”
	Peter pointed his finger over Kermit’s shoulder.  “Well, you shouldn‘t have come.  Kermit, either you arrest him or 
I will find someone who will.”
	Kermit stared at the younger man, his body language and stance were confrontational.  Noticing all the people who had 
come around to watch them, he sighed.
	“Alright Peter,” he said in a calm voice.  “I’ll arrest him.  But please, let me take him home as a warning.  He won’t 
bother you again.  And its your wedding day.  Why don’t you go inside and get a drink.  You have almost a half hour before the 
ceremony starts, relax and enjoy your day.  Let me take care of this.”
	The younger man squared his jaw.  “No, he violated the restraining order.  You take him to jail where he can sit and 
meditate on the errors of his ways.  When you take him and I know he’s locked away, then I will enjoy my wedding day.”
	“Peter, we both know he doesn’t belong there.  Let me take him home.”
	“No, he goes to jail.”
	Kermit was glad he had on his green shades, it hid how angry he was.  Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a set 
of cuffs.  Going over to the older man, he went behind him and pulled his arms back.
	“I’m sorry I have to do this, Caine.” 
	The older man didn’t resist as he was cuffed.  Walking Caine over to his car, he looked back at Peter who only stood 
watching, arms crossed.  



	  
	Pulling a manila file off the stack, Peter opened it and separated the contents.  Since getting back from his honeymoon, 
the paperwork had piled up.  Seeing that everyone was avoiding him to some extent he thought the time would be used to take 
care of it.  It had been two weeks since he had wed Jody.  It had been two weeks since he had Caine arrested for breaking 
the restraining order.  As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he had felt wrong ever since.  The argument with Kermit before 
the wedding had hit a point that he didn’t want to admit to himself, that perhaps he in some way had used Jody to replace Caine.  
Now that things had settled, it felt too late to make things right.  
	After the wedding, when word had spread that he had Caine arrested, people whom never said a bad thing to him had come 
out in defense of his father.  Mary Margaret didn’t even want to speak with him, while even a few others in the precinct felt 
as if he did take it too far.  He had to stop by Chinatown to finish up with a case, and even residents there had chastised him.  
Lo Si had come by and admonished him, reminding of all the good years and that love is the strongest force there is, by denying 
forgiveness, he is hurting himself.  The elderly Chinese man’s plea for him to realize the extent of what he had done did make him 
think. And Lo Si was right, a Shaolin Priest did not belong in prison. Kermit had said the same, but he refused to listen to either one.
	Taking a sip of his tepid coffee, he felt it was to late to admit he was wrong.  Whether it was his pride or ego, or even 
some other buried emotion, he had left Caine in prison.  It was a thirty-day sentence, but a life-time to one whom followed the path 
of light.  Perhaps it was his way of putting Caine in the same place of darkness he felt he was in, a tangible prison to match the
 mental.  Either way, Caine would stay there and when he would be released, Peter would never have to worry about seeing the man again. 
It was over, no apologies or closure, just separate ways.  
	Coming back to the file before him, it was the results of the lieutenant’s exam.  He had passed, however, the promotion did come 
with one caveat; he had to transfer into a different unit.  Glancing around the room, he began to fill out the transfer request.



	Kermit eased the Courvair into the parking space.  Glancing over at Lo Si, he could feel the anger being tightly controlled 
in the other man.  He had strived to control his own anger the past few weeks.  It was Caine’s release date from the local jail and 
Lo Si had asked if Kermit could take him to pick him up.  He agreed, perhaps it was his way of easing the guilt he had felt when 
arresting the other man.  He had tried to tell himself that it was Caine’s own fault for getting arrested, but he knew that it was 
wrong, that there never should’ve been a restraining order issued to begin with.  That made him angry at Peter, and that wasn’t good.
	It had been a quiet ride over and he knew it would be a quiet ride back.  Both men got out and waited by the gate.  The large, 
chain-linked fence had one portal opening to the world.  As far as jails went, it looked pretty much the same as almost every one he’d 
seen before, the only difference was that this time, it held someone he regarded as a friend.  
	It didn’t take long before the newly-released came through the gates.  Kermit watched as the familure figure came out.  The former 
mercenary frowned and looked away.    
	Caine came over to the two men.  Each eyed the other, saying so much but without saying a word.  He was right about the ride home.  



	Lo Si watched as a small bird landed on the feeder.  He had just finished filling the container with birdseed.  It was late spring and 
many different types of birds had begun coming back to their northern home.  Glancing in the French doors from the patio, he could see someone 
else preparing for a journey.  It had been a month since he had gone with Kermit to bring Caine home from being incarcerated. It had been a 
month and his friend was slowly fading from a broken heart.  After much discussion, he had suggested that Caine should go to visit the 
northern Shaolin temple for a few months.  He had spoken to Master Kwan before presenting the offer and the other man had agreed with him.  
	Going inside, Lo Si sat down at the table while Caine finished packing a box of apothecary supplies.  Caine had agreed to be an 
apothecary instructor while at the temple, it was knowledge that was slowly being lost from time, modern medicine, and uninterest.  
	“When is Cheryl coming by?”  Lo Si asked, breaking the quiet.  That was one thing he noticed that had changed.  Usually, it was 
quiet, yet comfortable, and now, the silence seemed overwhelming.
	“Later this morning.”
	The older man nodded, he already had known this but wanted to get the other man speaking.  “Do you need to finish with any patients?”
	“No.”
	“Is there anything you need me to do?”
	“No Master, it is already taken care of, thank you.”
	Lo Si internally sighed, he knew there were going to be changes, but to see someone he regarded as a son so depressed broke his 
own heart.  He wished he could go along for a few weeks, but he knew he was needed here.  Pouring himself a fresh cup of tea, he sat at 
the table and watched Caine finish packing a few pestles and books in a box.
	“Are you going to finish translating the book I gave you?” He asked.
	Caine nodded “I should be able to.  I am about a quarter of the way in.”
	Lo Si watched his friend pick up a picture, it was of both father and son, smiling. The other man had paused, staring 
uncomprehending at it. As if remembering, he hastily put the picture back on the shelf face down before grabbing another book for the box.
	“My friend,” Lo Si ventured, watching Caine stop as he spoke, “you need time to heal.  Do not let heartache and regret 
mire your soul down.”
	Caine pursed his lips and looked down.  “I know, but it is hard.  I can not help but recall all the times when he wished 
to know me, and I never let him.”
	“Perhaps, you could tell him in a way he will be able to understand.  Peter always seemed to treasure your father’s and 
grandfather’s journals, perhaps you could give him yours to read.”
	The other man frowned, “he is limited in his ability to read Chinese.  I usually read them to him.  Mine are mostly in Chinese 
as well.  And I have not kept up with them throughout my life.”  Shrugging, “it does not matter anyway.”
	“Kwai Chang, you are making excuses as to why you do not want him to get to know you better.  Perhaps it is time to start a 
new journal, just for him.  Even if your journey together is over, you can still provide him with the past.”
	Lo Si watched his friend pause, thinking upon the words.  He knew it would do no good to tell him exactly what to do, but if 
led there, mediated upon, and the wisdom of it revealed, it may be the key necessary to begin building a bridge for reunion. 
	Standing, he walked over to a small box he had brought when he had come.  Handing the package over to Caine, the other 
man stared at him quizzically.
	“My friend, it is a parting gift.”
	Caine nodded and slowly opened the package.  Pulling out the contents, it was a large pad of paper, lots of envelopes, 
a few books of stamps, and pens.  Caine looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
	“It is so you can write me Master Kwan’s jokes and stories, he has some of the best.”  Lo Si smiled innocently, “and in 
case you would like to keep in touch with anyone else.”
	Caine just looked at him, knowing he was getting goaded into something. 
	“Or if you decided to write an ‘autobiography.’  I would be more than willing to proofread if you’d like?”
	Caine shook his head and included the items in the box he was packing.
	“When will you return?”  He asked, changing the topic.
	The other man shrugged, “I am not sure, perhaps mid to late autumn. It gets rather cold in the winter up north.”
	Lo Si smiled, that he could agree on.  “I will keep an eye on things here while you are gone.”  Caine frowned, and Lo Si 
raised his hands, “no need to worry about me, Master Khan has promised to stop by to check up on me.”   
	Silence once again returned to the two men, and soon it was only one.


	The deep orange rays of the sun filtered through the vines dangling from the archway.  The vines and shadows had grown 
and twisted all through the summer and most of the fall.  The brown-tinged leaves on the vine looked golden as the sun caressed 
them before dipping below the horizon.  Caine pondered the setting sun and the vines as he sat watching and meditating on the balcony.  
He had spent most of the summer and fall at the northern temple.  He had spent most of the time focused on teaching his apothecary 
skills to another generation of Shaolin and healers.  He had spent most of the time trying to forget why he was there to begin with.  
It was not so much that he didn’t like teaching his skills, it was the reason of why he left and came here to begin with, to focus on 
his own healing, repairing his own broken heart.  
	Shifting, he stretched his legs out in front of him.  He had been sitting crossed-legged in the meditative position on the cold 
stone balcony for most of the evening.  The cool mountain air had a chilled edge to it, announcing an early winter.  
	Standing, he heard his back crack and felt his legs tighten from the cold.  Moving slowly, his muscles warmed as he went into 
his small chamber.  Going over to his desk, he sat down and pulled out a notepad.  It was his nightly ritual on many evenings.  The last 
conversation with Lo Si had stuck in his mind.  His friend was correct in pointing out that even then, he was still refusing to 
reveal himself to the one person who wanted to truly get to know him.  When he mediated on the reasons, he began to understand 
how the magician sometimes had to remove all facades for real magic to be discovered.  
	Putting pen to paper, he discovered how easy the words began to flow after many nights of remembering.  His life had not 
been easy and there were many moments that he wanted to forget.  Rereading what he had written the night before, it almost felt as 
though someone else had written it, that it was someone else’s life.  It was a life filled with pain and anger, joy and happiness.  
He included everything; the best moments, the most private moments, what he never wanted to remember ever again, and the memories 
he hoped he would never forget.
	He had usually tried to send one letter out a week.  He hoped it reached its destination, he hoped the one intended would 
understand.  He had hoped he would have gotten a letter back in response, but so far, nothing.  Staring at the page, he realized 
that he hoped too much.  



	Bowing once again, Kwai Chang grimaced behind his fake smile.  Another resident of Chinatown had come up to him on the 
street, welcoming him back.  He had been back for almost a month.  He had been gone for almost six.  
	A bitter wind pulled once again at his coat while a few flurries swirled.  Glancing around the street, several shop 
vendors were set up, oblivious to the cold.  A crowd of people hustled about, all bundled up, glancing at the vendor’s wares 
before entering the warmth of the shops.   
	Caine waited in the doorway for Lo Si.  He was going to meet him for lunch, but the elderly man hadn’t arrived yet.  
Rubbing his hands together for warmth, he shifted to keep warm.  Glancing once more down the street, he decided to head over 
to the restaurant, it was only half a block away.  
	Entering into the shop, the smell of warm noodles and earthy spices greeted him.  The décor was simple, mostly wood and 
paper designs.  Seeing the shop owner, Caine made his way over to the man, he had a small bag of teas to help with the man’s arthritis.  
The man saw him and smiled, he was a middle-aged man whom had come recently from China.  He had opened his noodle shop a few months 
ago and was attempting to live the American dream.  
	“Ah, Master Caine,” the man said in broken English, “thank you for your kindness.”  He smiled and Caine returned with a nod.
	“You are most welcome.” Caine knew the man had been trying hard to learn English.  Handing the bag over to the man, he asked 
in Chinese how business was.  The man laughed and waved his arm around the room.  
	“Good, very good.  I have been very busy.”  The man pointed to a table in the corner.  “And look, I now even have police 
protection.  They work at the local precinct.  The tongs will not bother me with them in here.”  The man smiled triumphantly.
	Glancing to where the man pointed, Caine frowned.  Several members from the 101st precinct sat eating lunch.  Part of him 
felt cold as he tensed, he knew the day would come when his path would cross one of theirs.  Observing them, he recognized several 
of the faces, but none of them were the detectives he had been more acquainted with.  Not wanting to be there, Caine congratulated 
the man and turned to go.  Lo Si could meet up with him later if he wanted too.  
	Caine was almost at the door when it opened and two faces he was familure with came in from the cold.  Their conversation 
stopped and stared at him in surprise.  
	“Caine!”  Mary Margaret cried out happily.  Hurrying over to him, she wrapped her arms around him, engulfing him in a large 
hug.  He embraced her back as she laughed,  talking about how much she missed him and was glad to see him.  Caine looked up and caught 
Kermit in the eye as the other man nodded in acknowledgement.  
	“So when did you get back?” Mary Margaret crooned, “and why didn’t you come by and see me?”  
	Caine smiled thinly.  “It is good to see you both, Mary Margaret and Kermit.  I hope you are both doing well?”
	As Mary Margaret chatted about how she missed him and other things, Caine watched Kermit.  The other man stared him down, 
no doubt mentally calculating what he was going to say and waiting to know if his own questions were answered without revealing 
what he wanted to know.  Caine knew this game and chose to reveal breadcrumbs, hoping it might lead to his answers as well.
	“My dear Mary Margaret,” Caine reached up his hand and gently cupped her face.  “You look as lovely as ever.  I apologize 
for not visiting you sooner, I have just recently gotten back and am still settling in at my own home.”  
	The female detective blushed, smiling sweetly at him.  “Well that’s ok, I figured you’d be back soon.  So much has changed 
since you left.”  Mary Margaret smoothed a strand of her hair back before continuing on, but this time in a lower, more saddened tone.  
“Yeah, Simms has been on loan to another precinct while they are waiting to get a new captain.  Frank’s been running it, but he’s 
thinking about retiring in a year or so.  Jody was temporarily assigned to the cold case division, and Peter, well he passed the 
lieutenant’s exam and was promoted to the 92nd.”  She paused for a moment, looking down, almost to try and find the right words.  
Sighing, she smiled back at him.  “But I guess change is good?  I mean isn’t it a part of life?”
	“That is the one, ever constant part of life.  We are as leaves floating down a stream, carried by currents beyond our 
comprehension, swirling at times in eddies, placidly traveling at other moments.  It is our ability to accept and adapt to the 
changes that divert the flow of our lives.”
	“Yeah, but I can still whine and complain about it” she joked, smile growing ever wider.  
	Caine lightly laughed back, that was one of the things he loved about her, how she could keep positive and make him smile. 
Looking her over quickly, he saw that she was well.  Turning to Kermit, the other man looked the same, but Caine could feel a 
disturbance in that he was battling the effects that change brings as well.  
	“It’s good to see you, Caine.  Are you back at your normal residence?”  Kermit asked, eyes watching him closely.
	“I am.”
	“Will you be staying around for the winter or traveling back to the northern monastery?”
	“I will be here for now.  Perhaps in the spring I may make a journey.”
	Kermit nodded.
	“Caine, have you had lunch yet? Kermit and I are going to have a quick bite, would you like to join us?”  Mary Margaret invited.
	Caine shook his head.  “Thank you, but perhaps another time.” 
	“Ok, I’ll come by and see you then.”
	“I would like that.”  Smiling he bowed and left, knowing that they would both visit and he would have the answers 
that were gnawing on his soul.


	Setting the teapot down, Caine frowned.  He was right, it didn’t take long for one of them to visit.  Not looking at 
the other man, it was all he could do to remain composed.  
	“That is joyous news for them.  When is the expected due date?”
	Kermit shifted, uncomfortable to have been the one to have to inform Caine.  “Its about two more months.  
They’re expecting a boy.”
	Caine smiled as he turned to the detective.  “Then may they have much happiness and love.  A child is always 
the greatest of all the blessings.”  
	“Indeed.  I just wanted to stop by and welcome you back Caine.”  Kermit walked over to the priest and laid a hand 
on his shoulder.  “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”
	The older man bowed his head.  “I am honored by your friendship.  And likewise, should you ever need my assistance, 
please do not hesitate.”
	Kermit nodded and strode out.  
	As soon as the man was gone, Caine collapsed into a chair, heart breaking.  His son was going to be a father, 
but he was not to be a grandfather.  
	
	

	One candle lit the darkness, followed by another.  A stick of incense was lit, a slim, smokey trail of sandalwood wafted 
to the heavens.  A sagacious Buddha, eyes twinkling with each dance of the flame, sat watching.   A priest whispered ancient prayers 
on wooden prayer beads.  Sitting, kneeling, praying, nonmovement followed by graceful forms of movement, followed by no movement.  
	The days passed the same, prayers, meditation, kung fu.  People came and went, guests, patients, friends.  The sun rose in 
the morning, its soft golden rays matching the golden flames of the candles, with the golden flames of the candles still alit as 
the larger flame continued its journey into darkness.  
	Kwai Chang Caine was in mediation when he heard his door open.  It was late, most visitors had already come and gone.  
Staying seated, he waited.  The soft footsteps came down the hallway and stopped at the entrance to the room.  Caine ignored 
the figure for now, having the feeling that the visitor did not want to be acknowledged.  That momentary pause, a heartbeat, was 
all the visitor stayed.  Swiftly turning, the guest left as quietly as he had come. 
	Slowly rising, Caine went over and glanced down the hallway.  A note was left on his work table.  Going over to it, he 
recognized the penmanship immediately.  The note was simple, a few lines.  No well wishes or formalities, it simply read:

	I have become a father today. My new child has filled my soul. I have finally found happiness, please let me live my life in peace.  

	There was no signature, none was needed.  Going back into the mediation room, he blew out all but one of the candles.  
The golden Buddha just watched on, mirroring back to him what he was beginning to acknowledge, that there was no such thing as 
peace and serenity within the mind when the heart was broken.  Placing the note next to the deity, Caine blew out the last candle.
	
	
	
****************************************************************



	Shutting down the computer, he rubbed his temples.  A headache had started out as a simple throb but had grown to a pounding one.  
Pulling out a desk drawer, he grabbed a bottle of painkillers and popped two into his mouth.  Looking at the steadily decreasing pile 
of papers, he had made a small dent.  The computer softly sighed before it went completely silent.  He just stared at it a moment, it 
was time to go home, but he knew in truth, he should have left two hours ago.  
	Standing, he grabbed his blazer and stuffed a few of the files into a soft leather briefcase.  He paused when closing the bag, 
he had just gotten it as a birthday gift a few weeks before.  He still couldn’t believe he was in his forties, where had the time gone?
	Glancing over the desk once more, he turned the light off and left.  The hallway seemed just as impersonal as the office had.  
Traveling down the elevator then out through the marble lobby, he swiftly nodded to the uniformed security detail before heading outside.  
The air was still warm from the heat of the day.  Walking over to his car, an SUV, he watched the sun turn the sky into a gentle, yet 
dazzling array of fiery oranges and velvety indigos.  
	The drive home was a short trip this time of day, several hours earlier, traffic gridlock often made a pleasant drive into a 
frustrated stop and go game.  Pulling into a small, tree-lined suburb, the neighborhood looked like the classic American dream.  
He pulled into the driveway to a two-story house, no lights were on.  Shutting off the engine, he paused before getting out.  
Flowers and a few trees decorated the yard, a dried floral wreath decorated his door with a wooden placard that said “the Caine’s” 
hung below it.  It was the essence of the perfect family, the picture of quaint domestic life.
	Peter took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before going in.  A staircase greeted him to the left as the right turned in a 
hallway with openings into the living room and beyond.  Placing his briefcase on a small table by the door, he placed his keys on a 
rack with other keys and his coat in a closet with other coats.  Moving slowly down the hallway, the house was quiet, empty.  Pictures 
of two smiling boys lined the hallway, a blonde woman with a brown-haired guy smiled at him as well.  He stared at the pictures, even 
though he had seen them a hundred times before, he stared at them anew.  
	“Jody?” he called out, “Taylor? Michael?  Are you guys here somewhere?”  
	Passing into the kitchen, he flicked on the light.  A note sat in the middle of the table.  Picking it up, he cautiously read it, 
absorbing the contents.  Throwing the letter on the table, he swiftly grabbed a beer from the fridge and went out onto the deck.  The night 
had closed in, he could see the neighbor’s lights and the small decorative lights in his yard, a fenced in enclosure that had a fort swing
 set and garden.  Plopping down on one of the deck chairs, he sunk low in the chair and closed his eyes.  Only the sound of crickets and 
distant traffic interrupted his solitude.
	She had done it, she had left him, she said she would.  It was those long hours, the days, sometimes weeks away.  It was him always 
working.  It was his insatiable need to right the wrongs and help others find justice.  It was him pushing her away.
	Feeling about to explode, he grabbed the beer bottle and hurled it across the yard, seeing it shatter against the fence, next to a 
small soccer goal post.  Throwing himself back into the chair, he pounded his fist on the arm rest. 
	How had things gone so wrong?  Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to think.  They had moved to DC what, six, seven years ago.  
He had gotten a job with the FBI.  Jody had gotten a job in cyber security for a contractor firm.  They had two kids, both boys, a dog, 
a house, both had good paying jobs, they took vacations, they had seemed to have the perfect family.  His job was all consuming at times, 
long hours and time away, but he still came home when the job was done.  
	He had to admit, he was not surprised.  They had been fighting a lot lately.  It was the same fight they fought almost since they 
moved to DC.  She had told him, both through screams and tears, that she couldn’t be alone anymore.  She needed a husband and his sons 
needed a father.  He tried to explain the difference he was making, the lives he was saving, and how he was a driving force for good. 
He loved his work, maybe not all the aspects of it, like the violence and the death, but he did enjoy bringing those whom perpetrated 
the acts to justice.  He may not be righting the wrongs, but he stopped violent killers from destroying more lives and families.    
	He loved her and the boys.  Their births were the happiest days of his life.  They filled a part of him that he didn’t even know 
existed. He watched them grow, learn to talk, walk, go to school, sports, games, and helped with homework.  He wasn’t sure many times on 
what to do, doubting himself often, and making him wish he had his father for guidance.  Both of them made him want to be a better man. 
	Exhaling another long breath, he stared up at the few stars that shone through the brightly lit night.  “I miss my boys” 
he said aloud.  “I miss my wife.”  Taking another breath in and out, “I miss my mother.”  Then he said with a trembling voice 
“I miss my father.”  Closing his eyes, he saw images of those whom he loved, each making him feel more alone.  
	Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and stared out into the yard again.  That was one thing he didn’t like to dwell on, 
yet it was a part of him that was missing.  He remembered Paul and the guidance he gave.  A memory of another man tickled his mind.  
Standing, he didn’t want to think about his childhood, not right now. Turning, he went in.


	Hanging up the phone, Peter cradled his head in his hands.  How had things gotten so complicated?  He had just finished 
speaking to his sons.  They both missed him and didn’t understand what was going on.  It was three weeks ago that Jody had packed 
them and the dog up and drove to her mom’s.  That was a ten hour drive.  His family was ten hours away.  He was making plans when 
he could see them, but it was difficult with them being so far away.  His eldest son, Michael, needed some advice for a girl. 
It tugged on his heart that he couldn’t be there to do his fatherly duty in person.  It tugged on his heart that he also had no 
father to lean on when he was going through this.  
	Paul had passed away four years ago from cancer.  That was one of the hardest things he had to go through, but he had Jody 
and the boys to lean on for support.
	Leaning back in his chair, Peter glanced around his office. It was a small room with no windows, a large desk and a bookshelf.  
A few pictures of Jody and the boys sat on his desk, otherwise, it was Spartan.  A stack of papers next to his desktop computer 
kept him focused on what he needed to do.
	And what was that, that he needed to do?  Running his hands through his short, brown hair, he realized a part of him was 
missing, a part of him that he needed to find out.  He wanted to know where he came from.  It was something that had been gnawing at 
him off and on for years.  He searched some, but kept coming up empty.  He tried to trace his mother’s family, but realized that he 
didn’t know her maiden name.  
	Glancing at the computer again, he logged on to the systems database of people search.  This time, he typed in his own name.  
A file with his information popped up on screen.  Seeing links, he clicked to see his birth certificate.  Once again, his information 
came up.  Reading it, he noticed something that he never paid attention to, his city of birth.  He was born in Richmond, Virginia.   
 Copying his mother’s information, he clicked elsewhere in the database to start a new search.  
	Peter gave a short laugh as what he was looking for came up on screen.  Damn, he said to himself, the FBI really can find 
all the info on anyone.  Looking at the screen, it was his mother’s medical record for being admitted into the hospital to give birth.  
Reading the pages, he saw a name listed for emergency contacts, and it wasn’t the name he thought it would be on there.  Copying the 
name and city of the person listed, he went to another screen and put in the info.  After a minute or so, a name and information about 
the person popped up.  Reading the page, he laughed and sat back.  He had found his maternal grandmother and she was still alive.  
Taking a deep satisfied breath, he was one step closer to finding who his real father was.
	


	Peter pulled into the assisted living community and shut off the engine.  The flight out to Spokane had been a tense one.  
Coming to the realization that he might be finally meeting a long-lost family member unnerved him a bit.  He knew most of the ones 
from the Blaisedell side, met many from Jody’s side, but never any from his maternal side.
	Walking into the waiting area, a bright fluorescent light lit the area brighter than the outside.  White and tan hallways 
were winged out to either side while the small lobby seemed an inconspicuous hub.  A dour looking receptionist keenly ignored him 
as she typed away at a keyboard.
	“Excuse me,” Peter asked, “can you tell me what room Mrs. Ethyl Cartwright is in?”  He still felt weird saying it, 
his grandmother’s name.
	The woman, pursed her lips before typing in a few keys.  Without looking up, she answered flatly, “Room 314, visiting hours 
are over at 5 pm.”  With that, she went back to her typing.
	Mumbling thanks, Peter went over to the elevator.  Next to the doors were an assortment of pictures, all of older people.  
Glancing over them, he wondered if any of them were of his grandmother.
	 The ride up the elevator was unexceptional, as the walk down the hallway to the proper room.  The strong smell of bleach 
and flowers annoyed him as he passed down the corridor.  The door to the room was open.  Glancing inside, a single bed was nicely
 made, pictures of flowers and farms decorated the walls, and a desk with books and a small TV.  Looking over next to the bed, he 
noticed an older woman sitting watching the TV.  Coming into the room, he felt his heart beat faster as nerves wore through.  
Willing himself to calm down, he took a breath and approached her.
	“Excuse me ma’am, are you Mrs. Ethyl Cartwright?”  He asked.  He noticed her deeply crevassed face, slight build, and a 
gray bun tied severely on her head.  A crochet shawl was wrapped around her figure and small square glasses reflected the light 
of the TV.  She seemed engrossed in an episode of Judge Judy, a woman whom seemed to look like a distant cousin.  
	The woman frowned, still watching her show.  Judge Judy answered on the TV before the woman spoke.  “That all depends on
 who you are and why you’re interrupting my programs?”  She answered in a gravelly voice.
	“I’m Peter Blaisedell,” he had thought it best to use his foster family’s name.  “I’m working on filling in some blanks 
on an old case file.  Did you ever have a daughter named Laura?”
	The woman finally looked at him, really stared him down.  He could feel her eyes judge him and he realized that she was 
tougher than she looked.
	“Why do you ask?”
	“We are clearing up some details in the matter of her death, that’s all.”
	“That half-Chinese bastard killed her.”
	“Why do you say that?”  
	The woman snuffed, “because, she had been married to a good, Christian man and she threw everything away to be with that 
heathen. I disowned her the day she ran away from her husband and then spit in her face when she said she was pregnant with that 
man’s child.  Laura’s not any child of mine after that.”  The woman went back to watching Judge Judy.
	Coming closer to the woman, Peter felt that she had not been a very maternal type.  Noticing the numerous crosses, a picture 
of Jesus, and a Bible next to her bed, he realized that his mother’s family might not have been able to accept what Laura had done.
	“Mrs. Cartwright, I’m sorry if this is upsetting to you, but can you please answer a few more of my questions?  Like whom was 
Laura’s first husband and why did she leave him?”
	The woman frowned and shook her head.  “Its old business that doesn’t need discussed so go away.”
	Peter came and sat in the chair across from her.  “I know you don’t like me asking, but if I don’t have the answers I need, 
I may have to come back or other people may come asking.”  It was a lie, but he knew he had to get the woman talking.  Implying that 
more people may come asking seemed to be breach on her privacy, so he figured it may work to get her to open up.
	The woman’s brow creased up as she mulled over the words.  Taking a breath, she replied darkly.  “Fine, her husband’s name was 
Andrew McConnell.  She had married him as soon as she had graduated high school.  Soon after, they had moved into the city for work.”
	“How long were they married?”
	“Almost four years.”
	“Did they seem to have any marital problems?”
	“I don’t see how that’s any business of yours, but she complained a lot.  I told her she needed to shut her trap and obey her 
husband.  She was a married woman and proper married women never complain that they’re not happy.”  A note of anger broke through 
Mrs. Cartwright’s voice as she spoke, almost as if remembering the arguments.
 	“Did he ever hit her?”
	“There’s nothing ever wrong with giving a firm slap or switch to keep a person inline.”  She shook her finger accusingly at him.  
“If more husbands would show more discipline to their wives and children, half the problems in this country would go away.  It says in the 
Good Book that a woman must obey and serve her husband.”
	“Can you give me a reason he would correct her?”  
	She waved her hand in the air, “why Laura wanted it all.  She wanted to go to college, she wanted to work, she wanted a new dress, 
she didn’t want to be a simple obedient wife. I told her a woman’s duty was to serve her husband and to bear his children.  I knew when 
she was a child she had a wild streak in her, that’s why we had her marry Andrew.  He was an older man that wasn’t afraid to teach Laura 
to be a good Christian wife and mother.  He was a man that believed hard work and prayer were the way to salvation.”  Mrs. Cartwright 
seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.  “Then she met that heathen bastard.
      “When did she meet him?”
	“Oh I don’t know and don’t care.  I hope they’re both rotting in the pit of hell.”
	“What happened then?”
	“Andrew had complained to me that Laura hadn’t gotten pregnant and wanted to know if she might have been taking anything behind 
his back.  I told him I’d talk to her and try to find out.  When I visited her, she confessed that she didn’t want to get pregnant and 
a friend of hers was getting her birth control pills.  She also confessed that she wanted to leave Andrew, saying that he was too harsh 
on her and would beat her.  I told her she got what she deserved and that she needed to stop taking those pills.”
	“Did you tell Andrew that she was taking the pills?”
	The woman gave a self-righteous nod.  “He deserved to know what she was doing.  A few weeks later I went to visit again, you know, 
to keep an eye on her since she couldn’t be trusted.  And that’s when her half-chink of a friend came asking about her.  I about hit 
the roof that my daughter, a good married Christian woman would even know one of those heathen bastards.  When I told Andrew, I told him 
he needed to get her pregnant that way she‘ll be too busy with a baby to be cavorting with heathens.”
	“And was any child produced?”  Peter asked in a too controlled voice.
	“No, none.  She called me crying about he was forcing himself on her every day.  I told her a husband can’t rape his wife and 
that she should be encouraging him.  It was her duty to produce an offspring for him.  I had eight children and all but she grew up to 
be good Christian men and women.”  Mrs.  Cartwright pointed at a picture on the desk.  A large group of people were smiling for the camera.  
“That’s them right there.  I have six children left, with sixteen grandchildren and eleven great-grandchildren.”
	Peter studied the photo, looking for any family resemblance.  Seeing none, he returned back to the older woman. “That’s quite 
a large family you have there.”
	“Thank you, all are good Christian families in the area, except for my youngest son.  His family is on a mission trip in South 
America, bringing the Good News to those heathens.”
	Peter took a deep breath, he couldn’t wait to leave this woman.  “Did Laura let you know before she ran away from her husband 
of what she was planning?”  
	“No, not a damn word to anyone” she spat out.  “Andrew came home one night to find that half-chink in his home, telling him he 
had no right to be beating or forcing himself on Laura.  Andrew said that he had gone to get his gun when the other man had attacked him, 
beating him badly.  When Andrew had come to, Laura was gone.”  Mrs. Cartwright crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.  “We hadn’t 
heard anything from her until almost four months later when she was pursuing a divorce and needed Andrew to sign the papers.  Andrew didn’t 
want to divorce her, but when she said she was pregnant with the heathen’s baby, he signed the papers and called her out for the whore 
she was.  Her father and I disowned her that day forward.”
	“Did she ever contact you afterward?”
	“Yes, she did.  She said that she had married that heathen and had his bastard son.  I told her I wanted nothing to do with her 
or any heathen offspring.” 
	“What about when she had died, how did you find out?”
	“The heathen had called to let us know she had passed.  My husband had answered the phone and I heard him yelling, saying that 
she wouldn’t have died if she had stayed with her husband and lived a good Christian life.  He said it was God’s punishment for her 
having turned away from her faith.”
	“Is there anything else you’d like to add?”  Peter asked, hoping that was all she had to say.
	Mrs. Cartwright thought for a moment. Her severe bun on her head matching her severe stance on life. “No, not really. I hadn’t 
thought about Laura in years and I hope to never again.  Do you have all you need for case filings?”
	“Yes ma’am.”
	“Well okay then, you can get yourself out, I’m missing my programs.”  Mrs. Cartwright grabbed the TV remote and changed the 
channel to what looked like some soap-drama.
	“Thank you for your time.”  Peter stood and walked firmly out.  
	Keeping his mind empty, he left the facility and drove to the hotel.  He wished he had made the flight out tonight instead 
of the next morning, but he had made it with hopes of finding welcoming family.  Making a cup of coffee, he sat down at the small table.  
Resting his head on his hands, he slowly processed everything the woman had told him.  His mind kept sticking to one point.  He 
remembered arguing years ago wanting to know who his real father was.  Caine kept telling him that he didn’t want to know, that his 
real father didn’t deserve either him or Laura.  Now he knew why.  Biting his lip, he realized a truth behind those words, a deeper 
reason in not revealing his origin.  And that was what Caine had wanted to keep from him, what his mother had gone through, the pain 
she had endured.  What they had to go through to be happy, with no support from any family, all they had was each other.  
	He had learned one thing, his natural father’s name.  Pulling out his tablet, he jotted the name down.  When he got back to DC 
he would research the name.  Staring at what he had just written, he realized for the first time, he may not want to know the truth.



	Carrying the large box down the stairs, Peter set it next to the others that lined the hallway.  The large boxes represented 
the life that he and Jody had built.  They were filled with decorations, clothes, school projects, and trophies.  Peter smiled bitter 
sweetly as he sealed the box he had just brought down.  It was full of family photos and other mementos.  They were going to sell the 
house so he was starting the packing process.  Jody had pressed forward with the divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. She had 
come in person to talk it out.  It hadn’t gone well.  His anger had gotten the best of him and he yelled at her being the one to break 
it up, and then he had just shut down.  
	He had also thrown himself into his work, hoping to distract him from thinking about his breaking heart.  Stopping and staring 
at the box, he realized that was it, why he felt the way he was.  His heart was breaking, but because it had been broken so many times 
in the past, the walls around it took awhile to crumble.
	Shaking his head, he didn’t want to think about it, just wanted a project to do and packing up the house was a big one.  Moving 
down the hallway, with pictures of his smiling family still smiling at him, he went into the kitchen.  Opening the fridge, it was now 
bachelorized with pizza, Chinese cartons, and beer.  He sighed and grabbed a beer.  Going back upstairs, he went back into the 
closet where he was working.  
	Taking a swig of the cold beverage, he then grabbed a box shoved into the back.  Taking it over to the bed he opened it, not sure 
of its contents.  Peter could feel his spine tense up as he saw what was on top.  Reaching in, he cautiously pulled out a piece of a 
broken plate.  Its Chinese cranes, dragons and characters twinkled in the light. Glancing in the box, he could see other pieces 
of the broken plate.  He knew this plate, it was in his old apartment for many years, it symbolized peace and harmony.  
	Moving the broken piece so that the cranes and dragons appeared to be dancing, all of a sudden he lost it.  All of the feelings 
of heart-brokenness and loneliness came rushing in.  The memories, the fights, the misery and denial.  Peter wept, clutching the 
plate to his chest.  Dropping to the floor, he leaned back against the bed and let all of the heartache he had been holding in go.  


	Several hours later, Peter woke from a deep sleep.  Stretching, his body had stiffened.  He could see the deep oranges of the 
sky as the sun set.  Still in a dazed state, he watched as the room darkened and the oranges faded out.  Seeing the cracked plate next 
to him, his awareness recalled earlier and his reaction.  Standing, his body ached in protest, much like his mind, but he did have to 
admit, he felt better.  He must have realized some of the ghost that had been plaguing him, he felt more clear-minded and calm.  
	Turning on the light, he wanted to find what else was in the box.  Pulling out the rest of the pieces of the broken plate, 
he carefully set them on the bed.  Next he pulled out a framed photo, it was of him and Caine smiling.  He remembered when it was taken.  
His heart tugged at him, he set the frame next to the plate.  Going back to the box, he realized it was full of letters addressed to him. 
 Picking one up, it, he recognized the handwriting.  He looked at the date over the stamp then glanced at the dates on the others, 
noticing they were dated a week to a few days apart.  Opening one, he read a short bit before feelings of anger and amazement took over.  
Carefully putting the letter back into the envelope, he quickly organized them.  Why did he never receive them and where did they come 
from?  Peter shook his head, he had never known about them.  Feeling his heart tighten again, but in a dark way, he realized Jody 
must’ve kept them all from him, hiding them away.  But why?
	Picking up the first envelope in the series, he opened the letter and began to read.
	


	The building was as corporate America as it gets.  Concrete pillars with tinted, rectangular windows.  Large, rounded 
evergreens added a splash of color against an otherwise dreary façade.  Peter slowly walked down the steps, noting the people 
in suits around him were just as dour.  Shifting his shoulders, he felt the same in his drab grey suit.  Seeing a concrete bench, 
he wandered over to it and sat down.      
	He had just left the attorney’s office.  Jody had wanted to meet here to finish the details of the divorce.  Several months 
had gone by, it felt like an eternity in a realm he never wanted to tread.  The divorce was final.  He had fought and begged and 
pleaded and raged to no avail.  She just didn’t want to try, she was done.  
	Staring at a group of pigeons in front of him, he watched as they pecked the ground, shook their heads and just waddled around. 
 A kid on a bike rode through, they scattered just enough to avoid getting hit, cooing angrily all the while.  He wanted to go over 
and kick them.  Sighing, he rolled his head instead, stretching tense neck muscles.
	“Hey, Peter, are you ok?”  Asked a soft feminine voice, one he recognized but chose to ignore.  “I just wanted to say without the 
lawyers and stuff, that I’m sorry it had to end.  It wasn’t something that I ever wanted, but I had to do what was best for me and the kids.”
	Taking a deep breath before responding, Peter shook his head.  “Yeah well, I guess you made your choice.”
	“I never wanted to hurt you, but you kept pushing me away.”  Jody shook her head, “it was like after the fight you had with 
your father, you refused to deal with the reality of what was happening.  He was human and he made mistakes, but he always loved you, 
even after you pushed him away.  And me, I loved you after my sister died and I saw what she saw in you.  I will always have a place in 
my heart for you, will always love you.  But you need to face your mistakes, otherwise Peter, you will end up a very lonely man.”
	“Well maybe I just never really learned how to let anyone in fully.  Every time I did, they left and I was there just holding 
onto the pieces.”  Peter paused before continuing, “I found the letters my father sent me.  Why did you hide them?”
	Jody stared Peter down before answering, her blonde hair ruffling in the slight wind.  “Because I saw how you were and I didn’t 
want the letters sending you over the edge in guilt.”
	“That would have been something for me to decide, not you.”
	“Yeah well, I was the one who brought you stability during that time.  You were a mess.  Cool and collected on the outside, 
but I could feel the fire burning within.  Those letters would’ve set you off.”
	Peter shook his head, “no Jody, they would’ve brought me back together with him.  Those letters came from his heart and it 
would’ve mended mine.  I could’ve loved both you and him, it didn’t need to be one or the other.  You hid them because you thought 
I wouldn’t love you, and looking back I did replace my love for him with you.  But I still did love you for you, it just took that 
for me to realize it.”
	Jody bit her lip and looked down. Time had created a few lines on her face and rounded her out, but she still held the beauty 
that she had in her youth.  Peter studied her, really looked at her.  Time had been kind to both of them physically, it was emotionally 
where it played its tricks.
	“Well, there’s some truth in that.”  She admitted.  Looking him in the eye, she finished, “I was afraid that you’d smooth 
things over with him and leave me.  And I had waited and wanted you for so long.  I loved you Peter, and you broke my heart.”  
	Peter watched as a small tear escaped down her cheek.  Standing, he embraced her, offering up his own broken heart. 



	
	Peter glanced from the address in his hand to the numbers on the building.  The nonchalant townhouse had a simple sign 
indicating it was what he was looking for.  It blended in with the other office/business townhouses in the small corporate park.  
Peter parked out front and noticed the security cameras placed where they could observe every move.  A small placard made him smile, 
its sign giving more meaning to those that understood it.  
	Going in the front door, he was greeted with a modern style design, completely different from the homier appearance from the 
building.  A secretary sat behind a dark wood desk.  She looked just as edgy, she had on a black and white cut-out dress that matched
up in angles and fit her petite Asian frame just perfectly.  The secretary smiled at him, obviously sizing him up as well.  
	He smiled charmingly back.  “Hi there, I’m Peter Caine.  I have an appointment.”
	She nodded, “yes Mr. Caine, he is waiting for you.  Follow me.”  She rose gracefully, then went down the hallway to a set of 
stairs. Peter was amazed as he followed her up two flights of stairs.  Her platform stilettos made it look uncomfortable to walk, 
but she flowed as if they were born with her.  At the top of the stairs, she knocked on a door.  Opening it seconds later, 
she smiled again as she waved him in.
	“If you should need anything, Mr. Caine, just ask.”
	Peter mumbled a thank you as he watched her glide down the hallway in the heels.  
	“I keep telling her, that if she trips in them, she’s not getting workers comp.”
	Peter smiled and turned to his friend.   
	“But they do give her great looking legs.”
	“Yes they do.”  The two men stared at each other for a moment, warily sizing each other up, noticing how time had affected each.  
	Peter smiled, “you still wearing those green shades?”
	Kermit smiled and tilted his head, “I told you before, they screen out people that grate on my corneas.”  
	“How ya been?”
	“Been good, busy.”  Kermit smiled his trademark grin as he talked.  “I started my own cyber security tech firm almost 
seven years ago and it’s been on the go ever since.”  
	Peter nodded as he listened to his friend talk.  Kermit had thinned and seemed to age, as new creases lightly lined his 
face.  His once dark hair had become more salt and pepper, if anything he looked more distinguished.  And the glasses, he still 
wore the trademark green shades.
	“Won’t you come into my office, I have this new coffee machine called a Keurig.  It’s amazing and I love it.  No more mud 
coffee for me.”  Kermit turned and swiftly went into his office, talking as he walked.  Going over to a counter, Peter saw the 
coffee machine that was being admired.  “Would you like a cup?  I can have gourmet in seconds.”
	Peter smiled as his friend rattled on about coffee.  Glancing around the office, a black wood desk had a three screen system 
set up, printers and scanners on the side.  A book shelf was lined with computer books.  Other than a few other office type items, 
there were no personal affects or pictures except one.  
	Kermit came over and forced a coffee mug into his hands and motioned him to sit.  Peter pointed to the one personal affect, 
“so when did that happen?”
	Kermit gave him a shark grin, “Karen and I had a quiet ceremony in the Bahamas about a year after you and Jody left.” 
 Kermit pulled out his wallet and pulled out a photo.  “This is the baby Karen adopted, you remember that.  And this is our 
little surprise, Zachariah.”
	Peter laughed as he looked at the two smiling children.  He pulled out his own wallet and handed his own photos over. 
 Kermit smiled and handed them back.
	“You know Peter, never had I imagined we be sitting here showing off pictures of our kids.”
	“Time does funny things.  How’s Karen doing?”
	“She’s good.  She transferred divisions a few years ago into immigration.  She’s been working with the Mayor’s office in 
finding a better solution to immigration issues and cultural barriers.  How’s Jody?”
	“She’s good.  We finalized the divorce a month back.  She has the kids but I get them part of the year.”
	“I’m sorry to hear that.”
	Peter shrugged, “its ok, we had drifted apart and sometimes things just don’t work out.  How’s Frank and everyone else?”
	“Frank’s good.  He retired a few years ago, along with Blake.  Mary Margaret was promoted and transferred, she got married 
a few years ago to a doctor, I think she has two or three kids.  TJ followed in his father’s footsteps and got into politics.  
He’s a councilman now.  Lo Si passed away about five years ago.  No one knew when he was born or how old he was, so they just put 
“The Ancient” on the stone.”
	“Sorry to hear that.”
	“He passed peacefully in meditation.  He went with a serene smile.”
	Peter nodded, he had heard about the passing, but hadn’t come for the funeral. He had wondered if Lo Si would outlive them all.
“What about you Kermit, how have you been doing?  What made you want to start all this?”  asked Peter, waving his hand around the room.
	Taking a sip of his coffee, Kermit leaned back and smiled.  “Well, let’s just say being a cop wasn’t quite for me.  Too many 
rules to follow.  The only reason for me to be there was Paul and then you.  After you left, I just didn’t want to do it anymore. 
 A buddy of mine suggested cyber security was the future.  I make a lot of money and don’t have the overnight stakeouts, crazies, 
or bad coffee.  How’s the Bureau treating you?”
	“I’d like to say it’s rewarding on its own merit, but its more glorified detective work.  More gruesome crime scenes, 
different cases all over the country, I get to trump all local jurisdictions, and paperwork, lots and lots of paperwork.”
	“Sounds like fun.”
	“It has its moments.”
	Both sipped their coffee and let the moment sink in.  Peter swirled his coffee, watching the dark brown liquid. “You know, 
I found something interesting while I was cleaning out the house.  In a box was a bunch of letters sent to me that I never got.  
They were dated from when Jody and I had just been married.”  Peter swirled his coffee again, “they were letters from my Pop and 
they were just hidden away in the box.”
	Kermit stared at Peter, “Jody never told you?”
	“No, she didn’t.  It would’ve brought me back together with him.  It made me realize how wrong I was, how angry, and how 
selfish.”  Shaking his head, he set the coffee cup on the desk.  “It was his life, from back as a boy in China, to when he came to 
the US, when I was born, his wanderings, and our reunion.  He wrote me his entire life story.  There were things he never wanted to 
remember or talk about.  And other things he just didn‘t know how to say.  He liked to sing and play music, write poetry, was an 
alcoholic, had been with only five women, and that I was the greatest joy in his life.”  Peter sat back and stared out the window.  
	“His birthday is December 8, 1936.  He saw his mother die, it was some sickness, it made him want to learn the healing arts.  
When he got to the US, his father dumped him at some farm up north where the man beat and abused him, he raped him, repeatedly” 
Peter said bitterly.  “He finally ran away and ended up in New York where he had started drugs and alcohol.  A Shaolin from his 
father’s temple recognized him and took him with him to Colorado where a group of them had gathered.  He finished his training and 
learned English.  He left and ended up in San Francisco.  That’s where he met my mother.  They had waited for their wedding night 
to make love, and cried realizing they had found the missing half of their souls.  He watched me be born and loved me without hesitation.”
	“When my mom died, he was lost.  His friend, the Dali Lama, whom he met when leaving China, convinced him to take me to the 
Shaolin Temple in California.  He was happy, I made him happy.  Then the temple was destroyed and he wandered, lost.  He fell back into 
alcoholism and depression.  He felt as if he had no purpose, until that fateful day.”  Peter fell silent, musing on what he had said.
	“Did he tell you everything you ever wanted your inquiring mind to know?”  Kermit asked, half-jokingly.
	The younger man smiled.  “I learned more about him then I ever wanted to know.  I’m thinking about publishing it, but some
 people may come after me.”
	“Highly possible with some of the folks he knew.”
	“He met some amazing people and helped more, hiding his own pain.  One reason he never wanted to talk about it was because 
it was all in the past and he never really liked looking back.  Or even forward, he just took the moment for what it was and never 
let it define him.”   
	“How very Buddhist of him.”
	Peter smirked, “yeah, it gave me a hell of an interesting upbringing.  He taught me it was ok to color both inside and 
outside the lines. Both were correct.”
	“You always were the brightest crayon in the box.”
	The two men paused, each smiling at the joke.  Peter leaned forward and grabbed his coffee cup, swirling the now tepid liquid.
	“You know, I actually found my maternal side and my biological father.”
	Kermit took a deep breath, waiting for his friend to continue.
	“I found my grandmother first.  My mom has born in Washington state to a family of strict Christians.  My grandmother married 
her off to this cruel man and never forgave her after she ran away.  I actually met with her, she was still bitter about my mother divorcing.  
They never told them I was from the first husband and lied about it to get the divorce.”  Peter reached forward and set his coffee cup back 
on the desk.  “My biological father, used to beat my mother.  I was able to look him up from the information she provided.  He had a long 
list of domestic abuse and violence.  He died in prison from killing his third wife.”  Peter paused, pursing his lips while glancing down. 
Taking a breath, he looked back up at Kermit.  “Andrew McConnell, that’s the name of my biological father.  He was a very violent man.  
And I’m lucky my mom and I got away from him.”
 	Silence fell between the two men.  Peter stared at his coffee cup, lost in his own thoughts, Kermit staring at his friend. A phone 
beeped, then went silent.  The air kicked quietly on, gently ruffling a few papers sitting on the desk before just as stealthily stopping.
	  Reaching into the desk, Kermit pulled out a small red box. 
	“Your father gave me this on your wedding day.  He wanted me to give this to you.”
	Grabbing the box, he carefully slid the paper off and then opened a smaller box.  Two gold bands sat on a pillow of cotton. 
He picked one up and read the inscription inside the band.
	“Forever my love, Laura.”  Peter said softly, he noticed the other band was engraved the same, just with Kwai Chang instead 
of Laura. Setting the box back onto the desk, he took a breath.
	“He gave me their wedding rings.”
	Kermit stared at him, face not revealing any emotion.  Peter stared at the rings, silent as well.
	 “Well Peter, what are you going to do now?”
	“What I’ve shoulda done a while ago.  I need to find him.”
	Kermit grunted in reply.  Pulling out a desk drawer, he reached in and grabbed a notebook.  Scribbling something down, he ripped 
out the page and slid it over to the other man.
	Reading the note, Peter looked up in amazement.  “How did you get this?”
	“Let’s just say I never lose track of those whom have made it into my inner circle.”
	“Kermit, I don’t know what to say.”
	“Go see him, forgive him, that’ll be enough.”



	The humidity hit him, instantly smothering him in its wet, velvety embrace.  Peter took a deep breath.  Florida in the summer 
was hot and humid, and living up to its reputation.  The plane ride had been uneventful, mostly him berating himself about the past 
and the present, and why it took so long to do this.  Walking over to his rental car, a simple silver Toyota, the Florida humidity 
sucking his energy reserves, he wanted to both find his father and turn around and go home, pretending like this never happened.   
	What was his father doing in Florida anyway?  That was something he smiled to himself about, his father, someone whom he tried 
to push out and never remember, and now, someone who could make it all better.  Caine always had a way of simultaneously driving him 
crazy and soothing frayed nerves, often at the same time. 
	The address Kermit provided was a town off the tourist map but near both the beach and Everglades, both he knew his father would 
like. Pulling up to the address, Peter saw that it was to a hospice.  Frowning, it wasn’t something he expected.  Parking and going inside, 
a few palm trees made the Spanish-style stucco building seem more festive than it really was.  A scrub-clad nurse sat at the receptionist 
station, busy answering phones and handing out clipboards to different nurses and doctors that walked by and gave her one back.
	“Um hi, can you please tell me which room Kwai Chang Caine is in?”  Peter smiled slightly, nerves beginning to come through.
	The woman looked at him for a moment before typing into the computer system.  “Are you family or lawyer or otherwise connected 
to him?”  She asked in a business tone.
	“I’m his son.”
	She looked at him for a moment before writing on a piece of paper. “He’s been relocated. Here,” she held out the piece of paper 
and Peter noticed an address was on it.  “They have a Buddhist section and he requested to be there.”
	Peter took the paper and mumbled thanks.  Going back out to the rental car, he took a deep breath, nerves building even more.  
At least he was here, he told himself.  Looking at the address, he could easily plug it into his GPS.  
	It didn’t take long to get to the new location.  Pulling up, Peter felt his heart beat unevenly, as a feeling of dread rose.  
The address was to a cemetery.  Turning in, he followed a sign announcing a Buddhist area.  Parking next to a large tree heavy with 
Spanish moss, he slowly walked over to the different headstones.  Some were marble obelisks, others placards with names and lotus 
blossoms inscribed on, others stone pagodas.  Going down the rows, he stopped.  It was a name he recognized, both in English and Chinese.  
Like the others, it was simple; name, birth, death, Shaolin priest. 
	Peter could feel his heart slowly crush, he forgot to breathe, he swallowed hard.  Of all the outcomes he had surmised, 
this was not one of them.  When he had met with Kermit, the other man had given him hope, but now, he just didn’t know how to react.  
Glancing around him, he observed more trees gently draped in Spanish moss, palm trees rustling in the mellow breeze, and a small pond 
with mini pagodas and flowers giving this part of the cemetery a more Zen-like sanctuary.
	Going back to the gravestone, he inhaled deeply and fell to his knees.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this, he was supposed 
to find his father, smiling, maybe even playing the flute.  But not here, not gone.  Finally feeling the initial shock ebb, 
Peter put his hand over the name and wept.


	
	His body involuntarily jumped, twitching hard, he smacked his head against something.  Greif still heavy in his heart, 
Peter opened his eyes and was instantly confused.  He was sitting on a plane and had just smacked his head against the window.  
A woman sitting next to him seemed concerned and watched him anxiously.
	Smiling sheepishly, he must’ve fallen asleep on the plane.  Looking around him, people were sleeping, reading, or quietly 
talking.  Glancing at his watch, he still had almost another hour to go before landing.  Sighing in relief, he felt immediately 
grateful that it was a dream.  He could feel his heart start to slow, but the stress of the journey was building.  
	The woman sitting next to him was still watching him.  She was cute, Ameri-Asian and in her mid-thirties.  She had long 
brown hair that was loosely tied in a braid.  
	“Bad dream” he said simply, giving a shy smile.
	She nodded her head.  “Yeah, I think you mighta given yourself a concussion with how hard you hit the window.”
	Peter could feel himself blush.  “Luckily, I have a hard head.  My name’s Peter.”
	“Hi, I’m Rebecca.  Have you ever been to Florida before?”
	“No, but if it’s anything like the brochure pictures, I’m in luck.”
	She laughed, a soft gentle sound. Peter watched her look down and then smooth back a stray strand that had fallen from her braid.  
She looked back up and smiled at him again, and he couldn’t help but feel a soft tug at his heart. Looking down himself, he took a breath.
	“How about you, have you ever been to Florida?” he asked.
	“Yeah, a number of times.  My parents moved there a few years ago because they hated snow in the winter. Also, its income tax free.”
	“That’s a bonus.”
	“They’re trying to get me to move south, but I like the seasons.  Each season has its own beauty.”
	“They do, each has its own personality, its own energy.  Where do you call home?”
	“Right now, DC, but I go back and forth between China and there.  What about you?”
	“DC as well.”  Peter responded.  Shifting to a more comfortable position in the cramped plane seat, he could feel his spirit 
lighten as the fear in the dream lessened and the beauty of his new friend warmed his heart.


	It almost felt like de ja vu on the drive to the address.  Peter could feel his nerves fraying the edges of his heart, but 
somehow, he knew the dream represented deep-seated demons of abandonment and fear.  Since he got to choose his vehicle, he picked 
a red Dodge Charger.  Red represented good luck and he could use some of the strength the car offered.  Pulling into the address, 
it was a complex similar to the one in the dream, only this one had more palm trees.  It was a hospice, like the one in the dream, 
he could feel his heart sink.  
	Going into the foyer, it was full of people and nurses and more palm trees.  There were lots of windows letting in sunlight 
and beautifully landscaped garden views.  It was a peaceful place for one to come and die.
	He quickly spoke to the receptionist and held his breath.  She was a pretty young girl with a pony-tail.  She smiled warmly 
as she told him the room number.  He nodded and moved down the hallway toward where she had pointed.  Glancing out the windows, Peter 
could feel his heart begin to beat a faster drum dance.  There was a soft easy-listening soundtrack on, calming and providing some 
sound to an otherwise quiet existence.  Coming upon the room, it was slightly ajar.  Peter paused for a moment, closed his eyes and 
said a soft prayer to a benevolent spirit.  Exhaling, he quietly entered the room.  
	It was quiet, no machines beeping, no tv speaking, no one conversing.  Going in silently, the room was small yet bright.  
Two large windows had the curtains pulled back for the sunlight to filter in.  Palm trees and greenery provided a serene setting.  
The décor in the room was simple, a desk and a chair and a bed, with a figure in the bed.  Peter could feel his heart loosen and 
tighten at the same time.  The figure looked up, a look of surprise and then a large smile crossed the man’s face.  
	Going over to the bed, he could feel something change within him, a new resolve, a new chance.  Like the prodigal son, 
he knew he would be accepted back, everything forgiven and moved past.  
	“When I found you after the first fifteen years, the only thing about you that had changed was your eyes.  Seeing you today, 
that still holds true, and I still can’t find the words.”
	“Peter” Caine softly said.  
	It was as if after waiting for so long, hearing his name spoken by the one whom loved him unconditionally, opened the flood 
gates. Peter enveloped the other man in a tight hug and wept.     
	Caine had aged, Peter could see and feel the lack of body strength.  He had thinned considerably, but Peter could still 
see the warmth and love in the other man’s eyes and still feel a power surrounding him, his own energy, chi.  
	His father held him tight and Peter could feel the other man’s tears, feeling the emotion and release from the last ten years.
	“There’s so much I want to tell you, so much I want to say.”  Peter choked out, voice cracking.  “But I let my own damn pride, 
my anger get in the way.  I just can’t understand how you forgive me or even begin to want to, after everything.  I, I just…”
	“Shhh, Peter, let it go.  There’s nothing to say, you are here now.  That’s all that matters.”
	“I know but still…”
	“Peter, my son, my son.”  Caine said, smiling through tears.  He held Peter tighter and gave him one tight squeeze before 
letting him go.  The younger man stepped back, bashful, yet feeling happier than he had in years.  
	Going over to the window, he looked out.  Peter realized he needed that moment to collect his thoughts.  He could feel his 
father watching him, studying how he had changed through the years.  Turning around, he sat down next to his father.  The other man, 
still smiling, waited for him.  
	Laughing, Peter looked at the ceiling.  “You know, I still love to talk and there are so many things I want to say.  
I’ve even had conversations in my head with you, and now, I don’t even know what to say or where to begin.  All those years, I’ve 
realized I missed you.  We may not have always agreed on things and have different views on how things are, but I missed you for you.  
I’ve missed my Pop.” 
	The older man laughed, a deep gravelly sound.   
	“I’m a father now, got two boys.”
	“Congratulations, how is Jody?”
	Peter looked down at his hands.  “We divorced a few months back.  Guess you were right about that working out.”
	Shaking his head, “No Peter, things worked out for many years and she gave you two of the greatest gifts you could ever want.”
	“Yeah, we’ll still remain friends, but both of us just changed as we got older.  You should see my two boys, both are amazing.” 
	“Having a child is the greatest joy in life we can ever ask for.”
	“It’s scarier and harder than I ever imagined.  And how much I’ve grown to love them and give them everything I can. I want 
to show them the world and protect them from everything evil.”
	Peter stood up off the bed and wandered around the room.  He could feel his father’s eyes on him, following him. Seeing a 
book shelf, he went over and read the titles, laughing, he pulled one out and held it up.
	“You know, I read this to my boys when they were little.  My favorite quote was “I think, therefore I am…confused.”
	Caine laughed.  “The Tao of Pooh does possess some deep wisdom.  I used to read Winnie the Pooh stories to you when you 
were little.  Your favorite character was Tigger.”
	“Still is.”
	Peter went back to roaming the room.  Seeing the medical chart, he read it, heart sinking. Putting it back, he went back 
over to the bed, sat down and leaned against his father.
	“I finally found the letters you sent me.  Jody had hidden them in a box.  It wasn’t until I was moving I came across them.”
	The other man remained silent.  Peter could feel him tense as he leaned against him.
	“I know some of those things weren’t easy to write about, but thank you.”
	He could feel the other man move slightly, acknowledging the gratitude. The two sat in silence, each enjoying the 
strength the other had to offer.  
	The silence lasted for an untold amount of time.  Peter could hear an increase of activity out in the hallway. Soon, a 
smiling nurse in pink scrubs stopped by.  She smiled at him as she walked over to his father.
	“Well how are you doing today Mr. Caine?  And I see you have a visitor.”  She cheerfully said.  Picking up his father’s arm, 
Peter watched as she pulled out a needle.  It was then that Peter noticed a small port line in his father’s arm.  Injecting the needle 
into the line, Peter felt himself involuntarily wince.  It was next to his father’s brand, the dragon.
	“This is my son, Peter” said Caine, obviously used to the regimen.  
	“Hi” he said, feeling out of place and uncomfortable.  
	The nurse smiled back and went over to a wheeled tray she had brought in with her.  Bringing over a few pills and a glass of 
water, she handed them over to his father, whom took them without protest.  Handing the glass back, the nurse smiled and put it back 
on the cart.  Taking the medical file he had looked at earlier, she scribbled something down then left as quickly as she had come.
	Silence once again filled the room, only this time it was more pronounced.  “Pop,” Peter began, but unsure of what to say.  
He took a breath, “I want you to come home with me.  It doesn’t have to be today, but I need you.”
	Silence, the younger man could hear his heart pounding. 
	“Peter,” Caine said, but Peter could feel the sadness in the voice, he knew he was going to say no.
	“Father, please, I remember talking a long time ago with you. You were playing your flute and joking that one day, when 
I had kids of my own, you’d be there with me.  You’d be playing the flute in the yard and I’d say, that’s my Pop, or something 
like that.  But you’d be there, living with me and my family.  And that’s what I want. Things might be broken now, but we’ll 
figure it out. I’ll take care of you or hire a nurse…”
	“Peter,”
	“But please, come home with me.  I want you to know your grandkids and be a part of our lives. Please Father, be there for 
me, because I can really use your love and strength right now.”  Peter stared at his feet, unable to look the other man in the eye, 
not wanting to face any rejection.
	“Peter, I will always be with you, but…”
	“But what?”  Peter turned to face Caine, the other man a stony mask. But now, he knew better how to read through the mask.  
He could see the sadness in the man’s eyes, the fear and the sickness.
	“Peter, I am not well.  I do not want to be a burden.”  The man said honestly, mask dropping.
	“Two hands make any burden easier. You’re my Pop and I’m going to take care of you.”
	Caine took a breath and glanced out the window.  The sun was starting its descent into dusk. Evening colors were beginning 
to show as Venus sparkled in the fading light.
	“Florida has the most beautiful sunsets. They are very quick but deeply passionate in the hues and tones.” Caine got up off 
the bed and went over to the window.  Peter followed and stood next to him, like in the old days when they’d watch the sunset together.
	“How are the sunsets in DC?”  the older man asked.
	“Beautiful, especially when you’re at the monuments.  The way the sun touches them is amazing.”
	“Is that so?”
	“It’s a unique sight.  In the springtime, there’s the Cherry Blossom Festival where hundreds of Japanese cherry trees 
all bloom at the same time.  It’s one of my favorite things about DC.”
	“It sounds beautiful.”
	“It’s extremely beautiful and serene.  They frame the tidal pool and reflect off the water.  The zoo’s my boys’ favorite spot.”
	“There’s a zoo?”
	“Oh yeah, they even have a new panda cub.”
	“It sounds like an interesting place to live.”
	Peter smiled, knowing where this was heading.  “It is, there’s a lot of parks and museums to visit.  The mountains and beach 
are only a short drive away.  Oh, and did I tell you I met the nicest girl on the plane on the way here?  And she lives in DC.  
She does humanitarian work for a nonprofit in China.  She was surprised that I knew Chinese.”
	Caine smiled and looked at his son.  Peter could feel the love and smiled back.  Putting his arm around his father, the two 
watched the sunset together.  
	“Say Pop, do they let you play the flute in here?”
	“Only outside.  And Peter, do NOT call me POP!”
	“Just making sure I had the right father.”


The end